#WhyIDidn’tReport|“Too Many of Us Have Never Felt Safe” in a “Victim-Blaming"Culture…

According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, 63 percent of sexual assaults in the United States did not report to the police. More than 90 percent of sexual assault survivors on US college campuses do not report the incident.

The official Women’s March account tweeted: “There are too many of these stories. Too many of us have these stories. Too many of us have never felt safe to share them. And men like @realDonaldTrump are why”

“I was afraid”, “Nobody would believe me,” were among the reasons why thousands of sexual assault survivors did not go to authorities after they encountered sexual assault.

The hashtag trended on Twitter after Trump tweeted: “I have no doubt that, if the attack on Dr. Ford was as bad as she says charges would have been immediately filed with local law enforcement by either her or loving parents. Trump’’s response is what sexual assault survivors often face when they report sexual assault. Consequently, Trump’s defense of Kavanaugh triggered thousands of tweets under the #WhyIDidntReport hashtag. 

Donald Trump defended his Supreme Court nominee on Twitter and suggested that Ford was not telling the truth. In response to Ford’s allegation. Trump implies that the judge’s reputation was unfairly under attack in saying that “Judge Brett Kavanaugh is a fine man, with an impeccable reputation, who is under assault by radical left-wing politicians who don’t want to know the answers, they just want to destroy and delay,” Trump tweeted. “I have no doubt that, if the attack on Dr. Ford was as bad as she says, charges would have been immediately filed with local Law Enforcement Authorities by either her or her loving parents. I ask that she bring those filings forward so that we can learn date, time, and place!”

▲Donald Trump, current President of the United States, has been accused of sexual assault and sexual harassment by at least 19 women.

“ If my father knew what they did, he would’ve killed them [….] I didn’t say a word. Not to anyone. It didn’t seem constructive to do so. So, I went with the twisted misogynistic story that the two boys made up and spread around like wildfire […] It didn’t paint me as some poor pathetic victim and that felt better than the truth [….] acknowledged that I was sexually assaulted by my crush and his teammate, that it would make me seem weak […] I shoved the trauma down so deep[…] I’ve written about it countless times. Never publically. It wasn’t for anyone to know. It was for me to make peace with. Maybe I have. Maybe I haven’t. [….] Trump’s lack of compassion and inability to fundamentally understand human beings and humanity as a whole[….] society seems to be shining a light on the pieces of shit that have been hiding in the dark for far too long, while lighting a fire under the people who have stayed quiet for just as long.” -Brenn Colleen, Why I Didn’t Report…

“I am sick of hearing people ask “but why didn’t she report it?” There are a million reasons why someone who has been through trauma, any type of trauma, won’t want to talk about it [….] WHY they didn’t report should not be what we focus on, HOW we encourage victims to come forward is. Telling victims that we believe them is the first step to abolish the ‘victim blaming’ culture we live in and finally put the responsibility where it lies – on the attackers, and the rapists”- tovaleigh1

▲Indisputably, Exposing a huge trauma in public demands great courage and strength, cau’z it might destroy the survivor once again.  

#I blamed myself for putting myself in that situation

#I knew that I had no proof.★

#I could hear people’s judgments saying, “Well, why did you do that? It was your fault.”

#Oh, well no one is going to believe me.★

#It was my word against his.★

#Everyone was just going to go, “This girl just, you know, slept with this guy and changed her mind.

#I figured, who’s going to believe some cokehead college girl.

#I didn’t know that I was important enough to draw boundaries around what people could and couldn’t do with my body.

#Who wants to come forward with the literal most violating thing that can happen to you, relieve it, and then have people telling you that you’re making it up?

#I thought I would just be better off trying to put this behind me.★

#I couldn’t imagine pressing charges and then having to sit in a courtroom and look at his face over and over.★

#I imagine-and I think rightfully so- that it would have been more traumatizing for me in many ways had I reported it.

#It’s up to a survivor to decide what they do with their story. It’s up to them if they want to report it or not.

#I don’t want this to be a part of who I am.★

#We are trapped, we are scared.

# And I think it would be wrong to tell them that they don’t get to decide what happens next.

It’s the “victim-blaming “culture which makes the survivors silent for their pain.


▲The hashtag WhyIDidntReport on Twitter from those who chose to keep their silence:

#He told me no one would ever believe me.★

#I didn’t want to get into trouble.★

#I was terrified.★

#I didn’t want my parents to ever find out something horrible happened to me.★

#Because I didn’t want to admit what happened, even to myself.★

#I knew people would question my clothes and I couldn’t bear that.

#He said he would kill me.

#I didn’t want to ruin his live. He had kids and a wife, it wasn’t their fault.

#My dad would have killed him.

#I was told to keep my mouth shut.

#I was told I didn’t know what I was talking about.

#My friends didn’t believe me.

#He was my father’s friend. I was 9.

#I couldn’t be the cause of my family being torn apart. I was 13.

#He was a friend of my brothers.

#I didn’t want to break my father’s heart.

#I was ashamed.

#I didn’t want to lose my job.

#I thought maybe I deserved it.

#He beat me to a pulp in broad daylight. Nobody helped. I was 17.

#I thought it was my fault.

#Because I had been drinking.

#Because he was the nephew of my father’s girlfriend. I was 7.

#Because he was my boss.

#I was afraid it would ruin my professional reputation before I had even started.

#Because I agreed to have one drink with him. He was supposed to take me to my car, but instead, he raped me. I knew nobody would believe me.

#I was four, and he said he’d kill me.

#Because he was a celebrity and had money and I was a nobody.

#I did, it didn’t matter, I was dismissed, disparaged, & I still got blamed.   


Many sexual assault survivors use Twitter to express their support for those who chose not to share their traumatic stories.

Sexual assault survivors use Twitter to voice their mental support after US President Donald Trump questioned Christine Blasey Ford’s allegations against Supreme Court nominee, Kavanaugh.

▲According to Ford, Kavanaugh groped her and tried to take off her clothes at a party when they were both high school students in the 1980s. Nevertheless, Kavanaugh has repeatedly denied the allegations. Ford wrote it was “upsetting to discuss sexual assault and its repercussions,” but she “felt guilty and compelled as a citizen about the idea of not saying anything”.

 

Some claims that they feared repercussions….

Some who shared their stories online said they did report an assault. Some Twitter users said “I still get blamed. Many sexual assault survivors fail to report abuse when the criminal is the one who is their relative or family friend.

“It breaks my heart to see these #WhyIDidntReport tweets, but my pride and love for every single one of these people is endless,” tweeted Delaney Tarr. “Every story here MUST be listened to. We must listen to women. We must #BelieveWomen.

The Joyful Heart Foundation tweeted: “Reporting sexual assault – or sharing your story with anyone – is your decision and your decision alone. Every survivor, whether they speak out or not, is brave. We see you. We believe you. You matter.

Donald Trump defended his Supreme Court nominee on Twitter and suggested that Ford was not telling the truth. In response to Ford’s allegation. Trump implies that the judge’s reputation was unfairly under attack in saying that “Judge Brett Kavanaugh is a fine man, with an impeccable reputation, who is under assault by radical left-wing politicians who don’t want to know the answers, they just want to destroy and delay,” Trump tweeted. “I have no doubt that, if the attack on Dr. Ford was as bad as she says, charges would have been immediately filed with local Law Enforcement Authorities by either her or her loving parents. I ask that she bring those filings forward so that we can learn date, time, and place!”

Trump’’s response is what sexual assault survivors often face when they report sexual assault. Consequently, Trump’s defense of Kavanaugh triggered thousands of tweets under the #WhyIDidntReport hashtag.

▲Protesters gather outside the White House to protest Kavanaugh’s nomination and voice their mental suport for Dr. Ford. image source:  Brian Snyder/Reuters

Patti Davis speaking at the funeral of her mother, the former first lady Nancy Reagan, in 2016. The Washington Post published her experience of being sexually assaulted. image via Getty Images


美國總統川普日前提名卡瓦諾(Brett Kavanaugh)為最高法院大法官人選。加州巴羅艾托大學(PaloAlto University)的教授福特(Christine BlaseyFord),日前公開表示她在念中學時,曾遭卡瓦諾性侵。由於她當時並未報警,且對於具體細節無法清楚說明,遭到多方質疑。

為了聲援Christine BlaseyFord,雷根的女兒戴維斯(Patti Davis)投書華盛頓郵報(Washington Post),揭露自己約四十年前遭性侵的過往,盼外界理解受害者沒有報案或發聲的原由。性侵留下苦痛記憶,但細節早已模糊。

戴維斯在40年前和一位著名音樂人的會面。身為音樂創作者、急欲在娛樂圈發展的她並未多想。諸多年後,她完全不記得兩人對話內容,卻清楚記得窗外的景色、性侵者的臉孔、髮型與穿著,性侵過程,及事後羞愧與自責的自己。她說,多年來,她從不曾向任何友人、男朋友、心理治療師,甚至是日後的丈夫透露過這件事戴維斯說,這便是為何她能理解Christine BlaseyFord 三十多年來不曾對外透露遭遇性侵的事件。

對於外界質疑福特不能清楚指認出遭性侵的地點、時間或場合,Patti Davis以自身經歷表示:記憶會抓住的是那些永遠困擾你的片段,也抹去故事裡對你來說不重要的其他細節Patti Davis認為一個遭性侵女子需要極大的勇氣,才能面對自己不願說出的過去。

▲相關報導:性侵犯再犯率高|台灣平均每天都有三個兒童遭受性侵… …

▲相關報導:彼此對關係的認定不同,「約會強暴」比例高,熟識者性侵比率高達75.65% …


相關字:性侵。福特。大法官。ME TOO 。

#METOO Vol. 1 | Stories of sexual harassment & abuse

 

tag: trump’s tweet/sexually assaulting/Sexual assault survivors/why I didn’t report’/Trump’s tweets/ #WhyIDidn’tReport hashtag on Twitter/ survivors of sexual violence/Christine Blasey Ford/sex assault allegations /Brett Kavanaugh

司馬儀

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