在愛情裡學會的事:對方在關係裡______,向心力也會更少

By Margaret W. Lavigne(司馬儀)

 

諮商心理師瑪那熊寫了一篇文章〈完美情人 讓他好想逃〉提到:無論追求或交往,你習慣提供無微不至的照顧,任何事情親力親為幫伴侶完成….幾乎有求必應、使命必達,主動將任何事情都做好做滿!因為「想在對方面前展現最棒的樣貌」,努力扮演好完美情人角色…...你可以幫另一半搭起鷹架,但可別直接將房子都蓋好。

 

關係裡的平衡機制,你付出太多的同時等於剝奪了對方在關係裡付出的機會,你付出太多,或長期扮演理想情人(或完美另一半)的腳色,可能把自己逼太緊,久了也容易疲憊。

 

司馬儀我觀察到的是:對方在關係裡付出太少,向心力也會更少。人性是:我們對一個東西對一個人付出越多心力,才會越珍惜。

 

兩性關係專欄

  1. 愛情必修學分|用積極度去判斷一個男人的愛意多寡誤判率高….
  2. 宋慧喬的愛情觀「即使都這麼努力還是無法開花結果的話,就只能夠接受這樣的結局了。」
  3. 不過這些,精明的男生才不會告訴妳
  4. 「很多已婚的人最後都是一個人,世上沒有永恆的陪伴」
  5. 恐怖情人幾乎沒有例外都是雙重人格:恐怖情人一定會出現的十二個參考特徵
  6. End the Marriage or Not: It’s Against God’s Will to Stay with Someone Who is Unrighteous and Abusive

 

Wise Library 1985

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