最美的家教:示範孩子如何控制自己的憤怒

撰稿人: Margaret W. Lavigne(司馬儀)

 

你像對待大人一樣尊重他,那麼,他也會尊重你

很多父母的教育方式,他們永遠只會說:不可以。不行,但永遠沒有提出說明或分析或解釋,孩子得到的只是一個沒由來的禁止句,大人也無法接受吧。朋友和大人一樣被禁止時,都需要都有資格得到一個合理的解釋或說明啊(那跟大人被分手要求分手理由的心理有一點點相像)

 

最美的家教:示範孩子如何控制自己的憤怒
教導孩子不要因為他人的失禮而輕易被挑釁,父母需要以身作則。以身作則是最難也最有效的教育。

司馬儀:講道理有很多種,「口氣憤怒說教,或溫柔說道理,就算說的是同一套內容,都會導致完全不同的結果」!這是因為說話的表情和態度(善意與否)會影響小朋友的情緒和感受,影響他願不願意接受你的說法,「影響他願不願意體諒你,影響他會不會感受到你的包容或被愛,而選擇配合你!

你讓他感到溫暖,相信他也會願意給你溫暖!大人臭臉咆嘯以對的同時,不要要求小朋友回報乖巧的笑臉

 

譬如說:很多小朋友會迷手機或電視,那爸媽如果只是命令句:「不可以看了!」那,很多小朋友當下可能都無法接受,因為他收到是命令句,卻沒有任何解釋或說明,只有大人的臭臉甚至壞口氣。可是如果你帶著笑容跟他說:「電腦也要睡覺了」小朋友居然是可以接受的!

▲英國皇室成員凱特王妃被媒體捕捉到他們與孩子們的「對話視角」,她會選擇彎腰拉進與孩子的距離傾聽!許多兒童發展專家的紛紛認為這樣的舉動等於讓對方知道「你對我很重要」。 一般而言,讓親子關係建立在以上對下的立場,很可能只會帶來更多的距離或建立權威關係!

 

司馬儀:我偏好把小朋友當成人對待,其實一歲半的小朋友就已經聽得懂了!只在於你能不能讓她感動,讓她願意理解你而體諒你,而聽話(半數以上的大人也沒有聽話,知道該運動而不動,知道零食不好酒不好菸不好吃消夜不好,大人自己也都改不掉)!

 

當我們認為小朋友「一定必須聽我們的時候」….大人們一旦成為父母,就忘了自己是孩子的時候想要如何被對待?

 

編輯精選

親子教育|比起要求孩子「聽話」,應盡早教會孩子「拒絕」「求救」

父母也可能帶給孩子創傷:美國調查顯示會道歉與不道歉的父母…

Wise Library 1985

In truth, there’s a strong link between imperfection, unconditional love and post-traumatic growth. If you believe in luck or miracles, be aware of the seven deadly sins. According to Bible, a blessed life is not a life without trails, including the righteous and the chosen ones (1 Peter 1:3-9).God expect us to “rejoice in our sufferings,” because “trials of various kinds” are training to make us “perfect and complete” in character (Romans 5:3-6, James 1:1-27). When your life track differs from your original plan, don’t be scared. It’s comforting to know that “God promises to make something good out of the storm” for or those who remain righteous, tender and humble in any circumstances (Roman 8: 28). We fall and we learn. As we learn to humble ourselves, life gets better. The connection between brain and stomach is bidirectional. Excessive sugar intake sabotages our immune system and 70% to 80% of our immunity hinges on our gut health. Memory loss and cognitive impairment are common symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, all of which are highly connected to type 2 diabetes. Early signs of Type 2 diabetes include chronic fatigue, irritability, frequent urination, vision problems and slow wound healing. According to the American Diabetes Association (ADA), around half diabetic cases experience nerve damage. Depression is prevalent in people with diabetes due to the fact that diabetes causes “structural changes in the brain.” It’s worth noting that muscle plays an incredible role in the regulation of blood sugar levels. There is growing evidence that reduced muscle mass is associated with high blood sugar level. Beyond that, there’s a strong link between sleep deprivation and emotional weakness. Be aware of the power of tenderness, humility and subconscious mind. Be aware of the cost of negative emotions, such as suppressed anger and sorrow. God is watching our every move. God sees through our motives. Every spoken word will be recorded by God. Mental health crisis is sweeping on a global scale, because the core value of capitalism is incompatible with what human truly needs. Money cannot purchase inner peace nor unconditional love. Wealth incurs fair-weather friends, frenemies and snobs. Inner peace is the utmost blessing from God. Do not ignore negative emotions. Take time to deal with your old mental wounds once and for all. 腸胃健康和大腦健康息息相關!健康建議:無糖抹茶豆漿X鹼性飲食X練肌肉。鈣是解痛劑,多攝取鈣的食物或鈣片取代止痛藥。維生素E主修復,可加速傷口癒合,預防留疤。高壓容易緊張族群可多攝取維生素B和鈣的食物。一夜白頭是心理影響身體的鐵證,勿低估負面情緒對身體的傷害,包括生悶氣或憂傷!(詳情請參看網站醫療專欄)

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