Psychology ｜Healthy and Unhealhty Jealousy｜Wise Library 1985
You get jealous of another person only when you feel bad about yourself or when you value yourself as inadequate or inferior to others, consciously or subconsciously. In other words, those who feel good about themselves are less likely to suffer from jealousy.
Negative emotions do blind our judgments. Jealousy is an intense negative emotion and jealousy blinds our vision to see our luck and blessings.
Trauma, Low-Esteem and Inner Critic
Low self-esteem is a common sign of trauma. Negative emotions stem from disturbing life experiences or a single bitter thought. People suffer when they are being devalued or discriminated against. People who fail to forgive doom to tortured by bad memories that they can’t help but replay traumatic memories in the brain. Ultimately, they tend to adopt self-criticism in themselves.
Jealousy becomes problematic when it starts to “creeps into every aspect of your life,” said Kathy Morelli, LPC, a psychotherapist with a marriage and family counseling practice in Wayne, N.J.
Low self-esteem is a common symptom of trauma, which makes a person being possessive, moody, and more likely to suffer from depression. People learn to devalue themselves through other’s discrimination. Jealousy originates from an inferiority complex. Jealousy is an intense negative emotion that will plague people to amplify any unpleasant things. persistent negative emotion and chronic depression proved to damage our rationality and mental health. Thus, do not undervalue the danger of jealousy. As you are being jealous of others, you’d better do something to boost your self-confidence, such as learning. What makes you feel uncomfortable? What’s your Achilles’ heel?
The Causes of Jealousy
- low self-esteem/ subconscious lack of self-worth/ negative self-perception
- Narcissism/ Sense of Superiority
There isn’t enough attention and praise for everyone. Jealousy occurs when our self-esteem are threatened. It’s a commonplace thing that people tend to feel jealous about others’ career successes, popularity, personal achievements, etc. People tend to believe someone’s life is much easier or better than their own life.
Studies have shown that increased jealousy is associated with decreased self-esteem. As Dr. Robert Firestone defined, “critical internal voice” is a form of negative self-talk.
People who practice healthy jealousy turn their jealousy into admiration or the motive to become a better me. They befriend those they even and learn from them. They believe they can have the same life or achieve the same targets as those they envy. People who practice healthy jealousy never criticize those they envy, because people who practice healthy jealousy are those who have healthy self-esteem. They feel good about themselves and they believe in their own ability and potential to achieve the life they want. Unlike those who practice toxic jealousy, they do not suffer from a sense of inferiority for their own imperfection.
Deal with Jealousy
1. Challenge negative thoughts.
2. Note down the evidence of being loved. You have the one who believes that you are worthy of being loved.
3. Note down your strength and talents
4. Note down your personal achievements.
5. Celebrate little victories.
6.Counter against your weaknesses.
List your vulnerabilities and work on it.
Healthy & Unhealthy Jealousy in Relationships
Oftentimes, jealousy occurs when someone we love pay much attention to someone else. Some philosophers believe that jealousy is an erotic catalyst that expresses concerns and care. Nevertheless, being jealous should not become a habit or even a character trait. Intense jealousy generates feelings of anger and sabotages our rationality to make sound judgments.
Jealousy in Love Relationships
People who have low self-esteem tend to believe that they are not worthy of being loved or “not good enough” issue. They are trapped by their own imperfections or flaws due to social prejudice.
Jealousy, Narcissism and Sense of Superiority
The narcissist feels threatened when they feel small, unnoticed, inferior or defective. severe narcissists tend to get extremely jealous of others’ success or happiness with a strong desire to compete with others due to the sake of a sense of superiority. Severe narcissists have a predatory nature that they desire to prove themselves as superior to everyone around them.
Causes of Narcissism: Trauma
Most severe narcissists experience emotional injure at a crucial time in life. They might be humiliated or neglected. To prevent themselves from getting hurt, they push themselves to perform well on all sides.
They don’t let their guard down. Thus, it’s challenging for the narcissist to expose their vulnerabilities in intimate relationships.
Psychological Achilles Heel
Does any negative core belief keep holding you back and knocking your confidence? We all have an Achilles heel. An Achilles heel is a deeply ingrained defective belief system that tends to sabotage our self-esteem by making us feel we are not good enough yet, we are defective or unlovable, imperfect.
Inferiority Complex and Social Anxiety
There will always be someone who is prettier, younger, smarter than you in some ways. If you are comfortable with being who you are and being satisfied with your life and your personal achievements in the pockets, you are blessed. Most people experience moments of feeling bad about themselves or feeling “inferior” to others. Those who struggled with social anxiety are those who are being extremely anxious about their Achilles heel. People strive to prove ourselves and they are terrified of frustrations.
An inferiority complex is often subconscious. As someone experiences repeated humiliation, he or she might feel inferior to others because he/she learn to devalue himself/herself from others’ hostile treatment. Causes of inferiority are too many to name that even sexual orientation, economic status, or even religion are common reasons to make a person being discriminated against.
Psychology of Jealousy
Jealousy is a painful emotional experience with the desire to have more attention and love. Envy occurs when you want something you don’t have, such as popularity, wealth, intelligence, social status, or appearance.
Jealousy fuels damaging behaviors and compel people to obsessively monitor another’s relationships. Acknowledging your vulnerability helps ward jealousy off and strengthen a relationship. Acknowledging jealousy helps spur productive deep conversations about how to repair the bond or strengthen the bond. A wealth of evidence suggests that men feel greater jealousy about sexual infidelity, while women tend to feel more jealous about emotional infidelity in love relationships.
Mindpower and illnesses
The cause of all illnesses roots in the mind. Illness reminds us to work on our mental wounds and to practice forgiveness.
What I learn from life, those who are free from the suffering of illness and those who are blessed are the ones who never blaming others or anything in life. They focus on the solutions without blaming anyone nor anything. Life gets better.
As we tend to blame anyone or anything, we will be trapped by negative emotions without awareness. Negative emotions sabotage our mental strength and productivity. By being jealous, people are more easily to be irritated and distracted.
Rationalize Imperfection in Life
Those who suffer from low self-esteem fail to secure true happiness no matter what. Those who suffer from low self-esteem tend to devalue themselves due to the imperfections in themselves, such as a scar, a failed relationship, or a lower-paid job offer. They live on the edge waiting to be exposed. They exhaust themselves to be better. The judging themselves harshly and suffer from self-criticism, unconsciously or not. Self-doubt and self-hatred stop people from shining in the way they could. A lot of tension, stress would disappear when you learn to believe you are good enough.
Symptoms of Psychological Distress
Psychological distress is psychological discomfort that results in negative views of the environment, others, and the self, causing sorrow, anxiety, distraction, or even symptoms of mental illness.
Causes of Psychological Distress
Psychological distress occurs when we fail to cope with external events or stressors place demands upon us. Traumatic experiences are common causes of psychological distress. Psychological distress is a maladaptive response to a stressful disturbing situation.
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