你真的想知道我對心理諮商的看法?

撰稿人:司馬儀

我不認為心理諮商適合每一個人,除非,除非你身邊的家人朋友全部都無法給你幫助,無法幫你走出壟罩性壓迫性負面情感的漩渦,而你已經在墜落的邊緣,那心理諮商可能就是你不得不的選項…

 

對我來說,不是所有心理醫生或心理諮商師都具有同情共感的能力!我天性不是會訴苦的人,很多年前一度看了很多書而學習訴苦(但實驗諸多次,發現把不開心的事說出來,只會重溫一次不開心而已,多不開心就多殤腦)

 

國外很多研究都發現很多患者諮商完失眠更嚴重情緒更負面….(我想是他們的痛或弱點沒有被憐憫被理解,可能反而被檢討抗壓性太弱之類的)我一直強調你要慎選訴苦的對象…找錯對象,很可能還會多一個傷口….


很多年前,一位偶爾聯絡原本印象分數頗高分的表哥(從諮商師轉心理醫生),我一度用FB以信件的方式描述當時一個不好受的經歷,結果呢,熱愛社交的外向者如A,根本無法體會無法主動社交的的內向者的苦惱。

 

我來說說這個事件:那個飯局,全部都是日本人,因為是婚禮,所以是三三倆倆一起出席,我和當時的B出席,而他碰上他久違的女性友人,兩人當然密集不間斷地哈啦敘舊,我當時日文也不好(別說日文,就算是中文的場子也一樣),剛剛說了,會一起出席婚姻的,每一組都有各自哈拉的對象,我當然就落單了,我就自己不斷拍美食假裝自得其樂,但直到中間離席去洗手間的瞬間,才突然感到真正的放鬆…..

 

A先生的回應:你不會自己找人哈拉嗎?(他才中文不好吧!我已經說了,所有人一組一組都有各自哈拉的對象了,而我的男伴高亢地和久違地女性友人敘舊…)

 

我像是不存在的個體,時間很長,他跟我講話的總時間應該兩分鐘以內,在熱鬧的場合一個人,而這個場合原本就是我拒絕參加的,他拜託我參加卻又不照顧我的感受….

 

同樣的事件,一模一樣的描述,我轉身和D小姐討論,完全被療癒,而D不過是一個家庭主婦的媽媽,一個心思細膩能易地而處的女性….

 

很多時候人們怕身邊的家人擔心,所以選擇不說選擇獨自承受不開心,也可能找身旁的同事同學朋友說了,卻被背叛或再被否定一回,而二度重傷…

 

補充:對了,A收到信的第一個反應是檢討我中文太差。我都忘了跟他說我中文普普,但作文拿過滿分,是經過全年級老師全數投票通過,歷屆唯一作文拿滿分的學生。

Wise Library 1985

People are not aware of the adverse effects of excessive sugar intake and habitual binge eating on health. It is scientifically proven that excessive sugar intake sabotages our immune system. Indeed, 70% to 80% of our immunity hinges on our gut health. The connection between brain and stomach is bidirectional. For those who suffer from diabetes or any chronic illnesses, moderate amount of sugar-free matcha tea, coupled with alkaline diet, will help you defeat COVID-19.There’s a strong link between sleep deprivation, emotional weakness and early aging. Be aware of the power of tenderness, humility and subconscious mind. Be aware of the cost of negative emotions, such as suppressed anger and depression. If you believe in luck or miracles, be aware of the seven deadly sins. God is watching our every move. God sees through our motives. Every spoken word will be recorded by God. Mental health crisis is sweeping on a global scale, because the core value of capitalism is incompatible with what human truly needs. Money cannot buy inner peace nor unconditional love. Wealth incurs fair-weather friends, frenemies and snobs. Inner peace is one of God’s blessings. People fail to get rid of negative emotions. Depression root in loss of hope. People do not aware that there’s a strong link between imperfection, unconditional love and post-traumatic growth.When our life track differs from our original plan, don’t be scared. It’s comforting to know that “God promises to make something good out of the storm” for or those who remain righteous, tender and humble in any circumstances (Roman 8: 28). People know nothing about “God’s discipline” (Hebrews 12:11). According to the Bible, God’s discipline and God’s love are intertwined. According to the Bible, no one can be exempt from life challenges nor life troubles, including the righteous and the chosen ones (1 Peter 1:3-9).We fall and we learn. We become a better me as we learn to humble ourselves.

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