Parenting Tips for Toddler: Set the Boundaries and Rules


By Margaret W. Lavigne 


5 Missions for Parents

*Show the kids how to control their anger. 

*Show the kids how to deal with frustrations in life. 

*Show the kids how to manage their excessive desires. 

*Show the kids how to lead a self-disciplined life. 

*Show the kids how to have a happy and healthy life. 


Parenting Tips 

List the do’s and don’ts. List the rewards and punishments precisely. Prepare to-do-list for the kids with schedules. Help them arrange their time to live a fulfilled life. 


Perfectionist parents

Instead of focus on child’s effort and diligence, perfectionist parents tend to focus on the imperfection and errors. 


Perfectionist parents are highly disciplined or not. Generally, perfectionist parents will never feel good enough and they tend to focus on the details, errors and improvements. High expectations for kids might eventually backfire.They tend to put pressure on child on demanding perfection of the details. 


Kids Whine for a Reason

 It’s worth noting that the emotions are contagious between kids and parents. Thus, be aware of your tone and facial expressions. That really matters.Be tender, soft and calm in any circumstance


As to parenting, it’s all about growing together, supporting each other and negotiation. Treat them as adults. respect their feelings. You won’t yell at a unreasonable overbearing boss or beat him, right?  Make conversations with your kids by figuring out their needs and desires. Be an attentive listener. By doing so, it helps them expressing their inner thoughts. Avoid using negative sentences or threatening. Usually, encouragement works better than blaming.  Soft tone assures a better result in communication.


Let the kids to make decisions whenever possible. For instance, let the kids to choose the colors of the socks or their outfit. Autonomy is a charming thing both for kids and adults.  It’s important to set the rules of the dos and don’ts. 


Q: What to do when kids fight? 

As for I, I respond in saying “The who raise his voice already lose. The one who stops fighting first will be rewarded.” And it works well. Kids love competition if they are not being educated  correctly. The parents should emphasize the importance of supporting each other. 


Q: What to do when kids fall? 

Usually, kids react based on the reaction of the adults. As for me, I will say” Wow. You are so brave. You are so strong that you are able to stand up on your own without feeling hurt at all.” The tone matters.  I will emphasize the positive words, such as ” brave” and “strong” when the kids fall.  It works perfectly well if the adults remain calm and collected. 


Q: What to do when kids ask for another new toy? 

Kids gets bored with new toys in a minute if they have a lot of toys. I would say, kids are being naughty for being bored. Kids need your attention. They need company and they love playing games. There are many games which do not demand any tools, such as ” hide and seek.”  Help them find something to get rid of boredom.The best scenarios is that kids are able to do something on their own and you are able to do handle your own affairs when you spend time with them. 


What to do when kids ask for another new toy? For instance, as they ask for new toys, I said: If you behave well today, I will give you 5 coins. As you save up enough money, you will get the toys you want. The kids are being satisfied with coins. It’s not about having new toys. It’s about having something. It’s about building expectations. 


What to do when kids ask for another new toy? I respond in saying ” I give you so many toys. Will you give me something in return?”  Instead of giving, I ask for something from the kids and make them the caregiver. 


Most kids love to exercise and go for some running. It works well all the time. 


Kids are able to negotiated when they are around 1 year old. I guarantee. The following are my advice for kids who are around 2-6. 


1.Prepare some materials for them to paint. If you are free, paint with your kids. Kids do model from us. 

2. Music. One of my nephews can’t stop crying during the daytime. My father put him in my bedroom and my computer was playing the rock songs of Avril Lavigne.  Guess what. He fell asleep sound for successive four hours. 


3. Find them something to do to consume their energy. For instance, I make discussion with my nephews to see if they are willing to do household, which will be reward with coins for their effort. I reward them differently based on their diligence. If they do not work with their might, I give them less reward. I reward them more if they are being diligent. 


4. Nature. I do plant some flowers and kids happen to love nature. I ask one of my nephews to help remove the weeds and he was being good at. I keep complimenting his effort and talents as he removing the weeds. 


5.Any games without using 3C products. YouTube channels are the easiest way to get your child calm down in a minute, but that’s not good for their eyes. I use YouTube channels during emergencies. 


6. For the little babies who can’t stop crying, the most effective is offer them songs with low voice. It is said that low voice help comfort our emotions. 


7. Ask the kids to do massage for adults. That was fun. Don’t be overly serious for this advice. 


8. For kids are are obsessed with having new toys. You can prepare a backpack with toys to remind them that they already have many toys in hand. 


9. Kids hate separation as us. Remind them the reunion when separation occurs so as to comfort their hearts. 


Q: What to do when kids keep ask for desserts? 

Ask them to fight for what they want. If the kids whine for sweets, I will give them cookies, drinks or fruits instead. To deal with the kids, it’s all about negotiation and communication skills.


Give explanations when you prohibit the kids from something they want. For instance, I will say, ” if you overeat, you will have a big belly as your grandpa” with body languages. It works well for my nephews. For instance, they love cold drinks. I respond in saying, “if you drink something cold, you will have grandpa’s belly, and if you drink something hot, you will have the body shape like mine.” It works well again. Never underestimate the intelligence of your kids. 


Do not surround your kids with snacks and candies. It’s never easy to resist the temptations, let alone the kids. 


Kids have limited vocabularies, but they quickly from us. For instance, when they watch computer for a long time, I will remind them that the PC have to sleep now. They accept. When they can’t have something they want. Distract their attention by offering other options. 


From my observation, many parents set so many rules for the little kids and they have low self-discipline themselves. For instance, the adults can’t push themselves to do exercise or have midnight meals and binge eating all the time. It’s a commonplace thing that the adults have more desire and lower self-control than the kids. Adults get moody and irrational too. Our EQ does not increase with our age.



Margaret W. Lavigne 司馬儀

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