讀書會推薦書單「一直拿著自己最糟糕的地方與別人最好的地方比」

撰稿人:司馬儀

《闇黑情緒》

人很容易在羨慕他人的過程中,一直拿著自己最糟糕的地方與別人最好的地方比

image via 電影《A Rainy Day in New York》劇照
 
 
《闇黑情緒》摘要

人往往有個機制與習慣,就是自己愈在意的事情,愈會放大它的影響力。所以對你來說, 愈自卑的事情,你就愈會去在意;但是愈在意,反而會愈自卑。

 

例如,你很在意外表,你就會去看特別好看的明星或朋友;你很在意名利,你就會特別受那些炫富、功成名就的人影響;你特別在意人際關係….倒不如把自己這種比較的習慣與眼光暫時關掉,或至少多少轉移一點注意力,或把注意力放在自己喜歡、重視、有信心的事上。….把投注到外面的力量,收回到自己身上。當你能夠把力氣花在增進與改善自己的時候,你自然會感覺到踏實….

 

《闇黑情緒》摘要

因為女友內心一直很擔心男友拋棄自己,所以不斷「嫉妒」著那些與男友說話的女性友人,這其實是不斷「投射」自己內在被拋棄的恐懼到男友身上….但後來男友也「認同」了女友丟給自己的「被拋棄感」…到最後就真的想要逃走….這也是一種很常見的投射性認同

 

《闇黑情緒》

其實嫉妒與憤怒有相像之處…但是內在卻是在保護恐懼、脆弱的自己….嫉妒的本意常常是要捍衛關係,但到了最後,卻變成破壞關係…..

書籍資訊

《闇黑情緒》

作者: 邱淳孝
出版社:寶瓶文化
出版日期:2019/10/08

 

司馬儀:這一類題材的書籍非常多,也常流於老生常談,但這本書的作者提出了一些新的見解,很特別也很深入…

 

 

兩性專欄|Wise Library 1985 

  1. 比牽手更難的是分手|2019電視劇推薦《我們不能是朋友》劇中經典台詞X演員X劇照
  2. 27部愛情戀愛主題電影推薦「真正屬於你的愛情…..應該是一杯溫暖人的熱茶。」
  3. 愛情必修學分:感情能否持久,關鍵在於你能否承受他最壞的狀態….
  4. 黑豆玄米小姐分手小說《推理愛》「一段失敗的感情,如果你付出的不夠多,人們會怪妳不夠努力,如果你付出太多,人們又怪妳太傻….」
  5. 2020愛情電影推薦《你的情歌》(Movie, Your Love Song)|錯過,是緣分不夠,還是太被動選擇悲觀的我們?
  6. 兩性專欄| 女孩們太恐懼錯愛,太怕愛情失敗,只好不斷說服自己「                」
  7. 黑豆玄米小姐 分手小說《推理愛》敬無法好聚好散的愛情
  8. 宋慧喬的愛情觀「即使都這麼努力還是無法開花結果的話______。」
  9. 瓊瑤、平鑫濤與第一任妻子林婉珍的愛情|踏入婚姻以後,不愛了可以分開嗎…
  10. 2018 普立茲獎得獎小說《分手去旅行》
  11. 《你的傷只有自己懂》恨,不需要能力;但是,愛,需要能力

 

 

Wise Library 1985

In truth, there’s a strong link between imperfection, unconditional love and post-traumatic growth. If you believe in luck or miracles, be aware of the seven deadly sins. According to Bible, a blessed life is not a life without trails, including the righteous and the chosen ones (1 Peter 1:3-9).God expect us to “rejoice in our sufferings,” because “trials of various kinds” are training to make us “perfect and complete” in character (Romans 5:3-6, James 1:1-27). When your life track differs from your original plan, don’t be scared. It’s comforting to know that “God promises to make something good out of the storm” for or those who remain righteous, tender and humble in any circumstances (Roman 8: 28). We fall and we learn. As we learn to humble ourselves, life gets better. The connection between brain and stomach is bidirectional. Excessive sugar intake sabotages our immune system and 70% to 80% of our immunity hinges on our gut health. Memory loss and cognitive impairment are common symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, all of which are highly connected to type 2 diabetes. Early signs of Type 2 diabetes include chronic fatigue, irritability, frequent urination, vision problems and slow wound healing. According to the American Diabetes Association (ADA), around half diabetic cases experience nerve damage. Depression is prevalent in people with diabetes due to the fact that diabetes causes “structural changes in the brain.” It’s worth noting that muscle plays an incredible role in the regulation of blood sugar levels. There is growing evidence that reduced muscle mass is associated with high blood sugar level. Beyond that, there’s a strong link between sleep deprivation and emotional weakness. Be aware of the power of tenderness, humility and subconscious mind. Be aware of the cost of negative emotions, such as suppressed anger and sorrow. God is watching our every move. God sees through our motives. Every spoken word will be recorded by God. Mental health crisis is sweeping on a global scale, because the core value of capitalism is incompatible with what human truly needs. Money cannot purchase inner peace nor unconditional love. Wealth incurs fair-weather friends, frenemies and snobs. Inner peace is the utmost blessing from God. Do not ignore negative emotions. Take time to deal with your old mental wounds once and for all. 腸胃健康和大腦健康息息相關!健康建議:無糖抹茶豆漿X鹼性飲食X練肌肉。鈣是解痛劑,多攝取鈣的食物或鈣片取代止痛藥。維生素E主修復,可加速傷口癒合,預防留疤。高壓容易緊張族群可多攝取維生素B和鈣的食物。一夜白頭是心理影響身體的鐵證,勿低估負面情緒對身體的傷害,包括生悶氣或憂傷!(詳情請參看網站醫療專欄)

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