Holding Hatred at Heart: Failing to Forgive Sabotages Your Health

By Margaret W. Lavigne 

The Cost of Unforgiveness

Failing to forgive would make a person persistently ruminating negative thoughts of anger, complains and resentment without awareness, leading to increased anxiety, depression, early aging and chronic illness. It’s worth nothing that failing to forgive worsens our immune system.

Unforgiveness promises chronic illness  undue burden in interpersonal relationships. When we stop blaming anyone and stop holding anger against anything, we become less anxious and our body will energized. By letting go of our anger, we strengthen our immune system and secure true inner peace.


Unforgiveness and Prolonged Negative Emotion
Failing to forgive sustains negative emotions such as bitterness, hostility, hatred toward a transgressor or abuser and create chronic stress.


Unforgiveness and Stress response It’s common that we get furious at wrongdoing. Nevertheless, those who are dread of making conflicts with others suppress their anger without expressing their negative emotions and inner thoughts. There’s a strong link between suppressed anger and chronic illness.  People who are being devalued or bullied tend to regain a sense of control and that’s why stress occurs.


Being furious changes noting but our inner self.

Being resentful hurts no one nor our enemies but ourselves. 

Being resentful brings out the best version of ourselves. 

Believe in God’s justice and set yourself free.


The Benefits of Forgiveness

1.To err is human, to forgive divine.
If you fail to practice forgiveness, you can never shake off negative emotions. And you will never have true inner peace or sound sleep. Forgiveness means you understand the vulnerablities of human beings.

2.Forgive others out of self love.
3. Repentance of the seven deadly sins does help us to become more forgiving.



Margaret W. Lavigne 

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Forgiveness proved to improve mental and physical health

Everett Worthington, PhD, had been studying forgiveness for nearly a decade. His mother was murdered due to home invasion. The perpetrator was never prosecuted. There was no justice. Worthington was able to forgive the young man quite quickly. Forgiveness took years of practice, he says “I had a professor in grad school that gave me a B, and it took me 10 years to forgive that guy.”


Suppressed Anger is Toxic

Loren Toussaint, PhD, a professor of psychology at Luther College, in Decorah, Iowa, claims that nearly everyone “benefit from being more forgiving.” Toussaint suggests that “Forgiveness allows you to let go of the chronic interpersonal stressors that cause us undue burden.”Research has shown that forgiveness is linked to reduced anxiety, stress relief, depression and major psychiatric disorders, fewer physical health symptoms and lower mortality rates.



Forgiveness Does Not Require Reconciliation

Forgiveness does not encourage you to resuming an unhealthy or abusive relationship.  Worthington believes that a former victim of abuse shouldn’t reconcile with an abuser who is potentially dangerous.


Compassion and Understanding 

Those who hurt us are probably the angry wounded souls.  Offering empathy, compassion, understanding toward the person who hurt you might leads to true forgiveness. Forgiveness and unforgiving nature might develop into a personality trait. Forgiveness is internal process of letting go of bad feelings and negative thoughts, such as suppressed anger, resentment, bitterness, and the desire for vengeance when someone has wronged us or devalue us.

What I learn from life, as I get more satisfied with myself and my life, I tend to be more tolerant. As I am getting more aware of my flaws and past errors, I tend to be more forgiving.


Forgiveness can be generated out of compassion. Anger is absolutely destructive to our mind and health. Do not ruin every minute of the future for the bad things in the past.

Inspirational Quotes from the Bible on Forgiveness

#1 “If anyone of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”- John 8:7 NIV

We make errors and we seek forgiveness from others too.


 “Forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”[1]-Colossians 3:13 NIV


Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.”[2]-Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV


“If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”- Matthew 6:14-15 NIV


# 2 Watch your Negative emotions, It’s Satan’s Attack

“ You wonder why it’s so hard to find some peace of mind[…]The devil doesn’t want us to think clearly about sin. He keeps things vague so that he can imprison and disarm us […] Watch your emotions […] Moods don’t come out of nowhere. When we are angry, discouraged, depressed, anxious, self-pitying, fearful, or irritable, it is likely because we are believing something very specific” Jon bloom, Where Satan Will Attack You Today


“The only thing Satan’s forces fear more than the vibrant faith of a Christian is the unified, collaborative, vibrant faith of a community of Christians. But we do have one vulnerability: unbelief […] And Satan knows this very well […] Therefore, Satan’s primary goal in the thousands of his various attacks on us is to take down our faith […] When I find myself sinking, it’s always evidence of unbelief.” Jon bloom, Where Satan Will Attack You Today


“ Hostility is not from God, bitterness, unforgiveness, all of these are attacks from Satan.”- Charles Stanley


#3 “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents forgive him.”- Luke 17:3-4 NIV

#rebuke: express sharp disapproval or criticism of someone.


“When they came to a place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals –one on his right, the other on his left, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”- Luke 23:33-34 NIV


 “Love is patient, love is kind […] it keeps no record of wrongs."-1 Corinthians 13:4 – 6 NIV


#4  Forgive others. Do not judge nor condemn them. 

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”- Luke 6:37 NIV

Tag: tribulation, blessing, redemption




Forgiveness and Health: Scientific Evidence and Theories Relating Forgiveness to Better Health
Toussaint, L.L., Worthington, E.L., & Williams, D.R., 2015

Forgiveness Therapy
Enright, R.D., & Fitzgibbons, R., 2015

Getting Past the Affair: A Program To Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On—Together or Apart
Snyder, D.K., Baucom, D.H., & Gordon, K.C., 2007

Forgiveness and Spirituality in Psychotherapy: A Relational Approach
Worthington, E.L., Jr., & Sandage, S.J., 2015


Margaret W. Lavigne 司馬儀

There’s a strong link between imperfection, unconditional love and posttraumatic growth. In truth, we can only witness unconditional love in the hard times. If you believe in luck or miracles, be aware of the seven deadly sins and the seven heavenly virtues. According to the Bible, no one will be exempt from life challenges, including the chosen ones (1 Peter 1:3-9). God expects us to stay hopeful and “rejoice in our sufferings,” because “trials of various kinds” are training to make us “perfect and complete” (Romans 5:3-6, James 1:1-27). It’s comforting to know that “God promises to make something good out of the storm” (Roman 8: 28). We fall and we learn. As we learn to humble ourselves, life gets better. The connection between the brain and stomach is bidirectional. Excessive sugar intake sabotages our immune system and 70% to 80% of our immunity hinges on our gut health. Memory loss and cognitive impairment are common symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, all of which are highly connected to type 2 diabetes. Early signs of type 2 diabetes include chronic fatigue, irritability, frequent urination, vision problems and slow wound healing. Depression is prevalent in people with diabetes due to the fact that diabetes causes “structural changes in the brain.” It’s worth noting that muscle-building helps regulate blood sugar levels. There is growing evidence that reduced muscle mass is associated with hyperglycemia. Beyond that, there’s a strong link between sleep deprivation and emotional weakness Be aware of the power of tenderness, humility and subconscious mind. Generally, negative emotions root in the inability to forgive, vanity or pride. People suffer from suppressed anger. God is watching our every move. God sees through our motives. Mental health crisis is sweeping on a global scale because the core value of capitalism is incompatible with what human truly needs. Money cannot purchase inner peace nor unconditional love. Wealth incurs fair-weather friends, frenemies and snobs. I would say, inner peace is the utmost blessing from God. Trauma is highly linked to chronic fatigue and chronic illness. Take time to deal with your old mental wounds. 脖子控管自律神經!肩頸僵硬,「自律神經」就會被受到壓迫!自律神經失調引發的症狀包括頭痛、暈眩、焦慮、失眠、倦怠、口渴、耳鳴,甚至憂鬱等症狀。自律神經失調了,血液的品質也會跟著惡化!解法:甩手操。腸胃健康和大腦健康息息相關,國外大力探討久坐對身體的傷害!健康建議:天芢無糖抹茶搭配芝麻和牛奶X 無糖豆漿X鹼性飲食X淋巴按摩X練肌耐力(控制血糖的關鍵)。鈣是解痛劑。維生素E主修復,可加速傷口癒合。高壓容易緊張族群可多攝取維生素B和鈣的食物。一夜白頭是心理影響身體的鐵證,勿低估負面情緒對身體的傷害,包括生悶氣或憂愁。詳情請參看網站醫療專欄。壞脾氣一定有理由,可能是高血糖或創傷症候群或高壓族群,而壞情緒會把幸運(福氣)和天使嚇跑。禍福相依,好消息可能會成為頭痛點,壞消息可能成為跳點!不屬於自己的只會逗留,不會久留,勿強求。引用小說《推理愛》:「判斷一個人愛不愛她很難,但判斷一個人珍不珍惜她卻很簡單。」「帶著疤,才可以找到真正愛你的人。」「柔和」「謙卑」與「歸零」的力量。自信缺氧,就用力學習。不自律就無法成為更好的自己,不自律就無法肯定自己!提醒自己:做該做的而不是想做的。預防改善糖尿病推薦食材:洋蔥、無糖抹茶、咖哩及酪梨。理財時代,從照顧好自己的健康開始。遠離乳癌,醫師呼籲不要使用塑膠袋裝熱食!國外研究證實:阿茲海默症患者「禁糖」便可望痊癒!人們低估了「糖過量」及「過食」對身體的破壞力。咖啡和巧克力的好被過度放大.精神不濟時喝咖啡,恐消耗體內維生素B。聖經說了,上帝洞察我們的所有動機,而我們說過的每句話都會被記錄在一本書裡!吐黑水霸凌他人的人,其實都會付出代價的,在適當的時間,所以謹言慎行。好壞都被記錄了,所以聖經要求人們可揭惡,並糾正他人,但不可牢記他人的過錯!最佳午睡時間是20分鐘和90分鐘。以上,互相督促。生命線協談專線:1995 安心專線:1925 張老師專線:1980 自殺防治諮詢安心專線:0800-788995




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