How to Fight Sense of Insecurity In love?

“What ruins relationships and causes most fights is insecurity” — Olivia Wilde


Insecurity is an inner feeling of being threatened and/or inadequate in some way. We’ve all felt it at one time or another. But while it’s quite normal to have feelings of self-doubt once in a while, chronic insecurity can sabotage your success in life and can be particularly damaging to your intimate relationships. Chronic insecurity robs you of your peace and prevents you from being able to engage with your partner in a relaxed and authentic way.

Persistent unreasonable insecurity would erode trust and intimacy in relationships, which would push a partner away.


Insecurity might root from some old trauma of self-denial or even self-hatred. The insecurity comes from inside selves. Anyone who suffers from intense insecurity might be deeply hurt or rejected by someone he cares about or even a stranger.

When a person fails to value himself, they can be easily affected and wounded by anyone’s offensive remarks. 

As you negatively value yourself, you make yourself vulnerable and weak. Nobody can exempt from unjustified and offensive reckless judgments. That’s a harsh truth. 

Oftentimes, a person of low self-esteem would be trapped by irrational fears and self-loathing. As you are the one who believes that you are not good enough, you are doing yourself harm without awareness.  It will put you in a vulnerable state that you might fail to get out of a toxic abusive relationship and get stuck in an unhealthy relationship for a lifetime or so. 

You have to believe that you are deserved to be loved.



There are a few things you can do:

1. Figure out your weakness and envision what you desire to become for the next ten years and work on it. 

When you feel insecure, you are often focused on something you feel is lacking about you. In most well-matched relationships, each partner brings different qualities and strengths that complement the other.

In order to feel more secure in a relationship, it helps to know what you have to offer to the other person. You don’t have to be rich or beautiful, personality characteristics are far more important to the overall quality of a relationship.

These are many common traits which most people value in a partner, such as attentiveness, sense of humor or trustworthiness.

To become a better me could be the best gift you can offer to your partner. 

Do you make your lover feel loved, supported, and happy? Focus on what you offer. If the other person doesn’t appreciate what you have to offer, he or she might not be the right person for you. 

2. Work on your weakness and Boost your self-esteem.

When you aren’t feeling good about yourself, it is natural for you to seek approval from the outside.

However, when your well-being depends on someone else, you give away all of your power.

Feeling good about who you are is a win-win for any relationship. Proper self-confidence is an attractive quality which makes people wants to be closer to you.

3. Acumulate good experiences help boost your self-confidence

4. Analyze your your inner critic and see if it makes sense

5. practice self-love, self-respect and self-compassion

Don’t be too harsh on yourself. Describe yourself from a outside to see if you can find any good qualities of a person. ,

6. Keep your independence.

Without sufficient self-confidense, you might lose yourself in a relationship by compromising too much. 

Proper self-cofidenec do help keep a healthy balance in a relationship.

When you aren’t dependent on your relationship to make a better feeling of yourself identity, you can be truly free.

7. Make time for your own friends, interests

8. maintaining financial independence

9. Set self-improvement goals. 

Keep improving yourself help boost your self-confidence 

10. Learn to take good care of yourself mentally and physically. Sleep earlier and have a balanced diet every single day. 

11. No one is perfect.  You don’t have be perfect in order to be happy. 


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