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精選書摘 |你有沒有經歷過「愛著另一個人的挫敗感」

精選書摘《溺日》,時報文化出版

你有沒有經歷過那種「喜歡的人正在愛著另一個人的挫敗感」

精選書摘《溺日》,時報文化出版

開始懂得接納不對等差異[…]所有體貼在他看來不過雲淡風輕,最初我們就該弄懂,渴望的從來不一樣,他追求的是不甘寂寞與新鮮感,而我在他身上迫切得到的是愛情。我們永遠無法站在同個觀點凝視彼此

精選書摘《溺日》,時報文化出版

是不是有好多的話想說,想對自己說、想對別人說,想對整個世界說。那天匆匆交換聯絡方式,躲在視窗說著不著邊際的話,以為這麼做能排解孤獨,以為不去在意就可以保持理性[…]人們在訊息傳遞的過程,莫名產生依戀。我們以為這是愛情[…]是不是太過靠近,所以忘記做出保持距離的舉動

 

精選書摘《溺日》,時報文化出版

沒有把孤獨攤開面對的勇氣,無論如何都還是一樣[…] 如果沒有承接迷惘的能力,又或者無法將自己安放,那麼不管怎麼付出犧牲,都只會傷害對方,傷害自己。

精選書摘《溺日》,時報文化出版

如果愛的起點來自寂寞,那麼沒有人能在這份關係獲得快樂,或許對方一直以來也與自己同等孤獨[…] 人有很大部分的傷害其實是自找的,之所以無法坦然面對,是因為沒有人願意承認孤獨。


編輯:我也是後來才願意承認我喜歡G的情感,可能很高比例是來自一份迷信,一份我不願意承認放下的迷信,也可能是冀望依賴,或對方身上的光真的迷人。對於一知半解的人,卻賦予太多的情感重量(一種偏執的死心眼,往往和迷信是綁在一起的,特別是相信命中注定的人,一種每次喜歡了,就認定世界上沒有更好的人,明明世界很寬而自己碰觸的範圍那麼狹小。)有時候,迷信會帶不可思議走你我的常識和判斷,將你我帶往智商或甚至情商的最低處,讓你不尋常的慌亂…

 

關於暗戀最正面的想法只能是:你願意相信錯過的那個人「很好」,而未來餘生將擁抱你的是「更好的人」。 亂世佳人也有那麼一段話:God doesn’t give you what you want, not beacuse you don’t deserve it, but because you deserve better.  

圖文:司馬儀

 

Margaret W. Lavigne 司馬儀

Life can be beautiful without perfection. There’s a strong link between unconditional love and posttraumatic growth. In truth, people only witness unconditional love during hard times. Unconditional love is found in imperfections. Imperfections teach us to be humble and compassionate. If you believe in miracles, be aware of the seven deadly sins and the power of tenderness. Earn approval and luck from God. According to the Bible, no one will be exempt from life challenges, including the chosen ones (1 Peter 1:3-9). God expects us to stay hopeful and “rejoice in our sufferings,” for “trials of various kinds” are training to make us “perfect and complete” (Romans 5:3-6, James 1:1-27). It’s comforting to know that “God promises to make something good out of the storm” (Roman 8: 28). We fall and we grow. There's a strong connection between unhealed trauma and a dysfunctional immune system. If you rush yourself to become a better me, that might be a sign of unhealed trauma. As we learn to humble ourselves, life gets better. The connection between the brain and stomach is bidirectional. Negative emotions and chronic stress sabotage people's immune system. 70% to 80% of our immunity hinges on our gut health. Memory loss and cognitive impairment are common symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, all of which are highly connected to type 2 diabetes. Early signs of type 2 diabetes include chronic fatigue, irritability, frequent urination, vision problems, and slow wound healing. Depression is prevalent in people with diabetes due to the fact that diabetes causes “structural changes in the brain.” Muscle-building helps regulate blood sugar levels. There is growing evidence that high blood sugar leads to reduced muscle mass. Beyond that, there’s a strong link between sleep deprivation and emotional weakness. People suffer from suppressed anger and pessimism. God is watching our every move. God sees through our motives. Mental health crisis is sweeping on a global scale because the core value of capitalism is incompatible with what human truly needs. Money cannot purchase inner peace. Wealth incurs fair-weather friends, frenemies, and snobs. I would say, inner peace is the utmost blessing from God. Stop recording the faults of others and practice compassion mediation instead.我喜歡文字,大概是因為我喜歡永恆的東西,而世上多數的東西都不是。不是所有人都需要心靈雞湯,如果你絕對正向而強壯。養心養身,而潛意識24小時不睡覺,身體自癒的開關落在潛意識的區塊,只有絕對入骨的正向樂觀才能痊癒,恐懼傷骨傷腎,老人家們容易膝蓋牙齒不好是因為恐懼多憂慮多。中醫主張生悶氣、恐懼、悲觀和過食是疾病的根源。自認不是棉花糖的勵志派,是寫實警世的定位,但我肯定有邏輯基礎的正向思考,Bible很多內容都很科學,也符合中醫的論點。佛教主張前世今生的因果論,而 Bible主張人生只有一回,但人生必有難題。難題分兩種,一種是磨練鍛鍊心智的training,好好表現,災難的背後會有禮物。禍福相依,壞消息可能帶來跳板、第三條路的視野、或逆境激發潛力。好消息往往伴隨更多責任挑戰,甚至暗藏陷阱,很多好消息最後變成頭痛點。第二種難題是試煉,上蒼期望你我在逆境中堅守,試煉,是上蒼決定該不該給你我天堂入場卷的門票!猶太人虔誠,但他們的教堂沒有神像沒有十字架,只有書(因為信仰在心中)。人生有很多上蒼的隨堂考,當掉就要重修(歷史就會重演)。氣生災,如果你我相信成功需要幸運,把「柔」做好,就可以賺福氣。Bible強調柔軟的力量、自律、謙卑、口舌之禍及傲慢之惡。寫信給站長(責任編輯)司馬儀: jpsiawase@gmail.com 如果遭受暴力(家暴,或霸凌)、性侵或性騷擾或任何身心虐待,撥打113保護專線,24小時全年無休。生活學業工作等等困擾,撥打安心專線「1925」。若簽約租賃碰到詐騙,撥打165反詐騙專線(警察)或內政部警政署反詐騙諮詢專線:0800-018-110

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