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Psychology of Givers, Takers, and Matchers

Psychology of Givers, Takers, and Matchers
What’s the difference between these types? Givers seek out ways to help others. Matchers reciprocate and expect reciprocity. Takers focus on gaining as much as possible from others.

 

  • Takers are self-focused and self-serving that they put their own interests ahead of others’ needs and concern their best interests all the time. They try to gain as much as possible from others while contributing little or nothing in return.  In a word, takers concern about themselves and their own self-interests. Takers may be unaware of their selfishness. Generally, takers are snobs that they tend to approach and please those who are powerful. Takers might good at socializing, but they will end up developing reputations for being a snob or being selfish. That’s why takers rarely succeed in building strong solid relationships.

 

  • Givers are help-seeking by nature that they are others-focused and givers tend to provide support to others without concerning the feedback. Givers love to offer support, such as offering mentoring or sharing knowledge without any strings attached.  Givers tend to sacrifice their time or even money to help others without asking anything in return. People tend to trust givers because they offer support and happiness to others and enrich the harmony and interests of the people around them. Happy givers tend to build solid quality relationships, which will benefit their life and career in the long run. With strong interpersonal relationships, happy givers are happier and healthier than takers for sure. Being a giver comes with many perks indeed, including solid stronger relationships, stronger mental strength and more luck in life. More Info: Successful entrepreneurs are givers 

 

  • Matchers tend to preserve an equal balance of giving and taking that they will not keep giving without taking anything in return. Matches repay givers for their favours and stop giving as knowing that their favours will never be returned. 

 

Very few of us are purely takers or givers. Most people hover somewhere in between. For instance, some generous givers expect more love and respect from others. Some takers can be selfish to people around them but being generous to their lovers. Givers tend to put other people first that some givers might put themselves at risk for burning out or being exploited by takers persistently. Matchers defend their own interests. Matchers hate to see people act generously and not get rewarded for it.

 

Avoid Giver Burnout

There are people who are “givers” by nature. By giving and supporting others, the self-confidence and self-esteem elevate. Some people have spent so much of their life being a “giver” and they do not know how to ask for support. Besides, many givers may get exhausted because they never learn to reject the requests from others. Depressed givers may suffer as their efforts are neither valued nor appreciated.

 

‘selfless’ givers & ‘otherish’ givers

The selfless givers are totally altruistic that they are constantly putting other people’s interests ahead of their own. Otherish givers are concerned about benefitting others, but they also keep their own interests by creating a win-win situation.

 

People tend to believe that givers will fall behind on their own work. However, as I become more altruistic, I tend to have better productivity at work and more luck in life. During the days that I was fully concentrated at my career, I  have less luck indeed. I thought I was being responsible for my job,  but I might be trapped by personal ambition without awareness. My life was overly packed that I did not have enough time for my family and friends as well.   

Here’s the story. There were two sisters, Amy and Emma. The elder sister was more clever, but she refused to share the household by saying that she had to prepare for her big exam. The younger sister had to prepare for her own exam as well, but she took all the household without fighting for her rights. The elder sister had no luck in getting a good score all the time. And the younger sister had more luck in getting a good score all the time.

According to the Bible, God favours cheerful givers and cheerful givers will earn luck from heaven. More Info: Givers vs. Takers: The Surprising Truth about Who Gets Ahead

Amazon|Depression and Post-Traumatic Growth

The Key Factor to Success|Benefits of “Delayed Gratification”

 

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Margaret W. Lavigne 司馬儀

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