Psychology｜The Inability to Forgive Sabotages the Immune System
Stop Focusing on Your Own Pain or Loss
Psychologists believe that forgiveness is a conscious decision. Minimize your own suffering, loss and contribution. Focus on your own errors instead. Humble yourself through the repentance of the seven deadly sins , which paves the way for forgiveness. Never label yourself the victim. You feel terrible when you believe that you lose something valuable, such as your reputation, popularity or trust from others. When you tend to believe that you lose nothing or you lose something or someone insignificant, it might be much easier for you to practice forgiveness out of self-love.
Focus on the Suffering and Vulnerabilities of Others
Focusing on the suffering and vulnerabilities of others helps alleviate your anger and pain. Those who are doing well with their lives tend to be tender, soft and compassionate. Those who suffer lose the ability to love. The sufferers lose the ability to encourage others or be happy for others’happiness.
As you focus on the faults of others, you poison yourself with bitterness. You are helping yourself when you choose to forgive. You will be happier and healthier as you uproot the poison of unforgiveness. The act of forgiving is the demonstration of obedience to God’s Word. Once we follow God’s words, we will receive God’s forgiveness and blessing, such as inner peace. Again, be aware of the seven deadly sins. Sow mercy, and you’ll reap mercy; sow judgment, and you’ll reap judgment.
Jesus said: “Judge not, that you be not judged” and “with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you” (Matthew 7:1-2).
We are not all-knowing as God. We might misjudge anyone. By misjudging people, we’re doing them injustice. The Bible says, to Forgive means “to excuse a fault, absolve from payment, pardon, send away, cancel, and bestow favor unconditionally.” (Matthew 10:8 )
7 Tips to Forgiveness
- Minimize your own suffering and loss. You feel terrible when you believe that you lose something valuable. When you believe that you lose nothing or you lose something or someone insignificant, it will be much easier for you to practice forgiveness out of self-love.
- The more conscious of our own flaws and past errors, the easier to practice forgiveness. Have we misjudged anyone? Do we say mean words when we get irritated? Are we being impatient to the ones who love us? Do we spread unverified rumors?
- Practice Compassion Meditation: Focus on the pain of others instead of focusing on your own pain. Envision the grievance of everyone around you. Everyone has their hard lessons in life. People want to be envied and they hide tears from you.
- Focus on the good things in life and the memories of being loved. Note down all your luck, blessings, strength and talents with a gratitude journal. Note down the ones you want to protect. It will help boost your mental strength.
- You can’t let go of bad memories because you have the desire to accuse something or someone. Thus, either expose the wickedness of the wicked or let go of the desire to accuse the one who hurt you.
- Believe in God’s justice. Take advice from the Bible. The Bible says God will repay the deeds. Thus, “keep no record of the wrongs” and “leave room for God’s wrath” (1 Peter 4: 8; Romans 12:18-19).
- Repentance of the seven deadly sins: Anger is one of the seven deadly sins.