親子學分:把我們對寵物的愛與耐心多分一點給爸媽…

撰稿人:司馬儀

 

太多時候,童話故事裡或電視劇的洗腦,讓太多孩子有了理想父母的假設,而對自己的爸媽無意識提高標準和要求(其實沒有父母能完成孩子100%的期望,也不可能有父母完全不犯錯)現實生活裡,父母具備所有凡人的美好與缺點,一如我們不會是理想完美的孩子….

 

如果把父母當作是寵物或小朋友,我們只會想著如何給予如何守護他們,不會有過多的要求。寵物和孩子也可能不講道理或霸道,我們願意給寵物寬容,對父母呢?

 

很多父母內心都是沒有長大的孩子,身為孩子的我們自己也可能永遠長不大,所以永遠任性或愛生悶氣。除非是你決心割捨可以割捨的關係,不然你能做的只有原諒只有理解,理解對方的難處,苦痛或不完美。

 

記住對方美好的最大值,記住自己最糟糕的最大值。當我們覺得對方做的不盡完美,若能轉過身檢討自己「過去為對方做過什麼」,「是否也曾經給對方帶來傷痛」….

 

觀察發現:容易生氣或容易受傷的人,其實是內心原本就夾帶傷口的人類!只有當你內心沒有受傷的情緒,才可能真正mentally strong,只有你心裡沒有受傷的情緒,才能徹底原諒….只有你內心沒有控訴的情緒,才可能真正脫離壞記憶和負面情緒…..才可能真正有未來。

 

太多人在親子關係苦痛,可能因為收不到理想的愛的份量或等重,收不到足夠份量的溫柔或溫暖,而傷心….願在親子關係或任何人際關係曾經摔摔跌跌的你我,都能在寬容中茁壯,或在寬容中找到寧靜與自由….

 

親子教育專欄

親子教育│示範如何成為一個快樂的人,就是父母給孩子最好的「禮物」

親子教育|致父母們,你希望你的孩子聽話,是出自愛或恐懼?

美國調查顯示會道歉與不道歉的父母…

 

熱門親子電影

▲Christian Film “Like Arrows”

#parenting #parenthood 

Margaret W. Lavigne

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