考慮離婚或已經離婚的你需要讀的幾本書:好聚好散需要兩個人的成熟才能成立

司馬儀:太多時候我們都發現只有少數人有能力離開不快樂或充滿怨懟,甚至充斥霸凌的婚姻!踏進婚姻兩回,61 歲的蔡琴說過「愛情不能延長,這一世如果你有愛過一次轟轟烈烈的,那就是了不起。」「我愛過了,這便是最重要的事。」

 

任何關係,不論結局如何,你盡力去愛過付出過了,也就夠了!而好聚好散需要兩個人的成熟才能成立!付出從來不會有錯,但須要慎選對象!錯愛不會有錯(誰敢說自己從未看走眼),但知道錯了,卻不願意認錯,那才是瘋狂!


洪荒|天下文化《你的傷只有自己懂》內容摘錄

 

一位教授在和大學戀人舊情復燃之後,要跟妻子離婚。他告訴她….30年前他就想離婚了,只是擔心她沒法好好教養年幼的孩子,所以拖到現在….不僅是先生對自己的不忠理直氣壯,也否定了她30年的青春與愛,而且懷疑她做一個媽媽的能力。教授先生另外還加她一條罪狀,指責她的職場成就讓他壓力很大。她哭著問好友,「如果我當初放棄升遷、拒絕加薪,是不是現在不會失去丈夫?」

 

先生要走時,有千百種理由。你薪水太高,讓他尊嚴受損;你薪水太低或只是家庭主婦,買個東西他都讓你有罪惡感。只要他心情不好,就會怪你不能幫夫,讓他好累好辛苦。你把家整理得有條不紊,他指責你有潔癖,讓他在家也不能放鬆….你簡單樸素,他嫌你像大媽大嬸黃臉婆,帶不出門。你噓寒問暖,他覺得你嘮叨、管得太多…..

 

分手,一定要這麼殘酷嗎?跟一個曾愛過的人好好道別,有這麼難嗎…兩「願」離婚,不應是兩「怨」….他擁有第2個女人了,你則是完全擁有自己了。你從早上睜眼開始,做的每件事都是自己想做、願做的事,你終於懂「隨心所欲」是什麼滋味。你不必再凡事徵詢,凡事協商,凡事妥協。你努力讓自己找出離婚的好處….

 


留佩萱 《童年會傷人》內容摘錄

關鍵在於離婚後,大人們是否把孩子的需求放在第一位…如果你們有孩子,離婚並不是結束,而是另一段關係的開始—共同撫養孩….每個人在離婚時也各自承受著劇烈的改變—像是生活方式、經濟來源、朋友圈,或是要經歷繁雜的法律程序,這些都會帶來很大的壓力。你曾經熟識的生活樣貌已經不存在,其中還可能夾雜著憤怒、悲傷、對未來的不確定性,以及失落等等情緒。當父母被這些情緒淹沒時,更難看見孩子的需求….

 

如果確定要離婚了,孩子遲早會知道…你可以和孩子解釋:「爸爸媽媽相處得不好,我們試著解決問題,但是沒有辦法。」「爸爸和媽媽必須要非常愛對方才能當夫妻,但是我們已經沒有那麼愛對方了,所以決定不再當夫妻。」….不要把大人間的爭執扯進來,像是抱怨:「都是因為媽媽外遇了!」「都是爸爸的錯!」不管對另一半有多麼的憤怒或是不甘,孩子沒有必要知道離婚的細節。我們是大人,請把對孩子最重要的事情擺在第一位。

 

孩子聽到父母要離婚時可能會有很多情緒、疑惑,或是擔心害怕。請堅定的告訴孩子:「雖然爸爸媽媽要離婚了,但是我們還是你的父母親,我們和以前一樣愛你,對你的愛不會改變。

 

 

Wise Library 1985

In truth, there’s a strong link between imperfection, unconditional love and post-traumatic growth. If you believe in luck or miracles, be aware of the seven deadly sins. According to Bible, a blessed life is not a life without trails, including the righteous and the chosen ones (1 Peter 1:3-9).God expect us to “rejoice in our sufferings,” because “trials of various kinds” are training to make us “perfect and complete” in character (Romans 5:3-6, James 1:1-27). When your life track differs from your original plan, don’t be scared. It’s comforting to know that “God promises to make something good out of the storm” for or those who remain righteous, tender and humble in any circumstances (Roman 8: 28). We fall and we learn. As we learn to humble ourselves, life gets better. The connection between brain and stomach is bidirectional. Excessive sugar intake sabotages our immune system and 70% to 80% of our immunity hinges on our gut health. Memory loss and cognitive impairment are common symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, all of which are highly connected to type 2 diabetes. Early signs of Type 2 diabetes include chronic fatigue, irritability, frequent urination, vision problems and slow wound healing. According to the American Diabetes Association (ADA), around half diabetic cases experience nerve damage. Depression is prevalent in people with diabetes due to the fact that diabetes causes “structural changes in the brain.” It’s worth noting that muscle plays an incredible role in the regulation of blood sugar levels. There is growing evidence that reduced muscle mass is associated with high blood sugar level. Beyond that, there’s a strong link between sleep deprivation and emotional weakness. Be aware of the power of tenderness, humility and subconscious mind. Be aware of the cost of negative emotions, such as suppressed anger and sorrow. God is watching our every move. God sees through our motives. Every spoken word will be recorded by God. Mental health crisis is sweeping on a global scale, because the core value of capitalism is incompatible with what human truly needs. Money cannot purchase inner peace nor unconditional love. Wealth incurs fair-weather friends, frenemies and snobs. Inner peace is the utmost blessing from God. Do not ignore negative emotions. Take time to deal with your old mental wounds once and for all. 腸胃健康和大腦健康息息相關!健康建議:無糖抹茶豆漿X鹼性飲食X練肌肉。鈣是解痛劑,多攝取鈣的食物或鈣片取代止痛藥。維生素E主修復,可加速傷口癒合,預防留疤。高壓容易緊張族群可多攝取維生素B和鈣的食物。一夜白頭是心理影響身體的鐵證,勿低估負面情緒對身體的傷害,包括生悶氣或憂傷!(詳情請參看網站醫療專欄)

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