Can Men and Women Be Just Freinds? Once One party Changed His or Her Feeling Toward the Other…

Friendship Is the start of a Solid Romance

An honest Friendship is a great foundation of any relationship and romance would not be an exception. If you fall in love with your male or female friend, you might able to

read his/her moods or emotions. There is a saying that good friends should know how much each person values the other. I love this idea.

Sings that you fall in love with your friend

As you’re attracted to someone, dopamine in the brain releases, and you feel excited about seeing him or texting to him. For no reason, you are preoccupied with thoughts of your friend and experience nerves in your body when you are around him. As you text his or her, you are overly concern about his feeling or reactions to you. As you found him or her get a lover, you feel terrible about it.

If you have the aforementioned symptoms, there is no doubt that you treat him or her more than a friend. And he or she might be the object of your affection. Admit it.


How the Bible describes true love?

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud [….] it is not self-seeking […] it keeps no record of wrongs [….] It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Authentic real love is bountiful and infinite.


Can Men and Women Be Just ” Friends”?

As to my observation, the most solid friendship between men and women potentially mingles the elements of affection.

Evidently, it is a commonplace thing that men chase after women they desired in the name of friendship in an attentive or courteous manner in the very first place, which can easily cause inevitable misunderstanding between both parties.

For instance, a woman might be willing to have dinner alone with a man for the sake of intimate friendship, whereas men take that meal as a dating. And he might hug her or kiss her out of the blue and ruin the friendship once and for all, which can even result in dating rape.



If men and women want to be friends, self-control, self-discipline and keep a proper distance is necessary, which would be the exclusive antidote to keep a long-term relationship between the opposite sex.

If both parties harbor no sexual desire with each other, the friendship between men and women can be true. Nevertheless, we often see that men approach their dreamed women in the name of friendship and as men’s dreamed women take their attentiveness as a favor out of friendship, men might take that move as their chance to win the heart of his dreamed girl.

Consequently, many men feel rejected and feel being used when the friendships between his dreamed women did not turn into a romance as they hoped. Likewise, many women feel bothered when they found their male friends desired love relationship rather than friendship.

Even if both parties reckon each other as friends without desire in the very first place, their feeling toward each other might be altered as time passes.


Do you believe in a sudden change of feelings towards somebody?

Passion can be deceptive. Love takes time to grow. Love takes time, so as friendship, trust, hatred, and forgiveness.

The sudden bloom of affection for someone does happen. If you are madly in love with someone all of a sudden, it might be passion rather than love. As you harbor a passion for someone very quickly, you might be attracted by his or her actions or characteristics in one way, or in another.


Will there be signs as friendship turn into romance?
Sometimes, love appears in the most unexpected time. A friendship may turn into a love relationship when you least expect it. Be aware of the common signs that a friendship is turning into love and be honest with yourself.


Subtle signs to Know if Your Friend is Interested in You

Mirroring is another subtle body language technique, says body language expert Judi James in the article “Language of Love.” Mirroring involves imitating the other person’s style, interests or habits, or even anything he or she loves.

As you are extremely fond of someone, you can’t see his flaws. You maximize the good sides of him or her. You feel alive when he or she approaches and your heartbeat can never lie to you. You feel uncomfortably jealous when he or she is particularly interested in someone else. You tend to win his or her heart with more efforts. You don’t ask for his or her love but attention. You are afraid to turn the friendship into romance because you are dreadful of the fact that a love relationship might be temporally and not lasting at all. You are too afraid to lose the person. To keep his or her lifetime company, you would rather keep your feeling inside.


How to tell the difference between friendship and romantic relationship between men and women?

Is there any subtle difference between joking and flirting? Would it cause misunderstanding between both parties? Is there any nuance between social gathering and dating between men and women?

I would say, women who have less feminine qualities are more capable to build a friendship with men in the long-term. As to my observation, women or men who have stronger unisex characteristic are more able to build a lifetime friendship with the opposite sex.

We have seen countless male-female friendships winds up turning into romance in reality and in the movies as well. And I have seen countless people hide their affection to the other in the name of friends.

I would say, if women and men meet each other in their late 70s or something as they are old enough to have less desire on sex, it could make them easier to build a solid and stable friendship for sure.

Do you believe platonic male-female friendships between men and women?

Friendship based on doing activities together, talking and sharing, so does love relationship. It depends on how they deal with sexual attraction between both parties. The fact is it is exceedingly difficult to distinguish sexual and friendly feelings between men and women. 

Sometimes, we love someone and enjoy them as a company, but lack of sexual desire to date them. Sexual attraction is always lurking and it might come into being uninvited. sometimes, you try to do a friend-friend thing. But, a simple, platonic hug could instantaneously trigger amorous feeling for the other.


Attraction and Sexual Tension

Do you remember the 1989 romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally?

Harry: You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I’m saying is—and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form—is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.


Can men and women be authentic lifetime friends?

The friendship between men and women can be subtle and complicated.

We should not deny the fact that male-female heterosexual friendship will always be disturbed or colored with some certain extent of romance or sexual desire unless his or her femininity or masculinity is pretty weak.

In a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Sapadin asked more than 150 professional men and women what they liked and disliked about their cross-sex friendships. Topping women’s list of dislikes: sexual tension. As to men, they take sexual attraction a prime reason to initiate a friendship or even deepen a friendship.[1] Either way, 62 percent of all respondents confirmed that sexual tension was present in their cross-sex friendships.

Women’s Confusion: Does he chase after me or does he treat me as a friend?

Indisputably, we have seen countless cases that people transform their friendship with someone into a love relationship.

Casual friends are people whom you see from time-to-time without a constant connection. They’re friends that you see irregularly for drinks. But you guys won’t plan vacations with each other.

The pure friendship between man and woman certainly exists. Nevertheless, once one party changed his or her feeling toward the other, it can no longer be the same. And pure friendship cannot exist anymore.


Mismatched romantic expectations cause misunderstandings 

Whether men and women can be just friends is a heated controversial and stirred debate.

What’s good to have friends of the opposite sex? What if your significant other can’t accept that you close relation with your female or male friends?


Best Heart-Warming Quotes about Best Friends
1. A best friend is someone who makes you laugh even when you think you will never smile again.
2. Friends are like stars, they come and god, but the ones that stay are the ones that glow. – Roxy Quiksilver.
3. I am grateful that I have the privilege of meeting you in the immense universe. -Pi Yi Chien
4. Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.
5. Authentic friendship isn’t about who you have known the longest. It’s about who walked into your heart. -Pi Yi Chien
6. True friends aren’t the ones who make your problems less or wiser than you. They are the ones who won’t judge you either disappear when your life is in trouble or in mess. -Pi Yi Chien
7. Best friends are like diamonds who can shine your life when your future seems to be dark and bleak. -Pi Yi Chien

Do you believe that men and women can be just friends? 

Most women believe that men and women can be friends but not men. 

The benefits and costs of opposite-sex friendships

Bleske and Buss (2000) [2]surveyed college students regarding the benefits and costs of opposite-sex friendships in their lives. In general, both man and women enjoyed opposite-sex friends for meal companions, conversation partners, self-esteem boosts, the bonus of social status, and resources-sharing about the opposite sex and more. [3]

Both sexes also noted similar costs of opposite-sex friendship, such as jealousy, confusion over the status of the relationship, unreciprocated love, cause misunderstanding to potential lovers.

Men were more likely to see potential romantic aura in an opposite-sex friend.

Significantly, men were more likely to see potential romantic aura in an opposite-sex friend. And men were also more likely than women to had sex with female friend that 22% of men do have sex with their female friends.[4]



Studies found that as people develop serious romantic relationships or get married, maintaining cross-sex friendships becomes harder. Generally, people have difficulty to accept their spouse establishes a friendship with someone who is very attractive.

In Sapadin’s study, women expect more emotional rewards from friendship than men.

What’s more, Sapadin asserts “Friendships with men are lighter, more fun. Men aren’t so sensitive about things,” which means that with men, women are allowed to make jokes and witty banter without any emotional baggage.

In her study, some women liked the protective, familial and casual warmth they got from men, viewing men as surrogate big brothers. And for women, they do like getting some insight into what guys really think from their male friends.


[1] According to Rosemary Blieszner, at Virginia Tech and author of Adult Friendship, elderly people rarely form new friendships with members of the opposite sex. She found that only about 2 percent of elderly women build friendships with men.

[2] Bleske, A. L., & Buss, D. M. (2000). Can men and women be just friends? Personal Relationships, 7, 131-151.

[3] Studies found that women express their thoughts and feelings to their male friends while men rarely share feelings or personal reflections but treat women as a group member that men’s friendship is more group-oriented.

[4] Merely 11% of women and sex with the opposite sex friend


Wise Library 1985

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