The Dark Side of Being a Stressful Perfectionist

A perfectionist has conditional self-worth.


A perfectionist decides his happiness by whether he gets a promotion or whether people recognize his efforts and performance.

Since they have pushed themselves to the limit, getting negative feedbacks would be unbearable for them.


A perfectionist never allows himself to take rest.

Thus, they have a higher risk for burnout, which is a surefire way to have their health condition decline.


Can a perfectionist be comfortable with his imperfection in all sides?


A perfectionist would be in great fear of unveiling one’s imperfect self. And it could be a detrimental factor for long-term love relationships and mental health.

Some scientists have argued that high-achievers can be classified as “positive perfectionists,” that they reap the benefits of perfectionism without falling victim to its perils. Nevertheless, a pessimistic perfectionist might become depressed and extremely anxious under stress in the long term.

Being a perfectionist can be very frustrating because you never be perfect on all sides. God takes something away from every individual so we can be more compassionate to others’ loss or deficit.  

Mostly, a perfectionist might suffer from a  sense of dissatisfaction for failing to meet the perfect standard at heart.  You never feel good enough about yourself. It will be harder for you to feel fulfilled for your work. Perfectionists are often people pleaser by striving to make everyone happy.
Perfectionists are constantly judging themselves. So, they can be more easily to get depressed than average people.
Thus, they might have a higher standard for people around them as well. Being highly critical of others can be harmful to interpersonal relationships, marriage, and parent-child relationships.


Self-denial is not born by nature. Lack of self-confidence or the inability to love yourself is a hint of old wounds.

You might get hurt when others throw stones at you for the first time. And then, you become the one who throws stones at yourself and you stop appreciating your self-worth, which means you find your own value from the judgment of others, or you start to question yourself and your life decisions. You don’t like yourself that much as before.

“Am I deserve to be loved or accepted?” You wonder whether you are good enough, which means that you are being hurt and you are going through self-denying. There’s a wound at heart which makes you unable love yourself or accepts yourself.


The Dark Side of Being a Stressful Perfectionist

Perfectionists, by definition, strive for the best and being meticulous at every side and every detail. At the core, being a perfectionist come with both good points and perils.

Being a perfectionist can be quite counterproductive in considering the health issue. When it comes to jobs, perfectionism is essentially valued as a virtue by avoiding making any errors. Nevertheless, a perfectionist is more inclined to set lofty goals which can hardly be accomplished within a short period of time. Once stress and anxiety accumulated, a person’s mental and physical health can be put in danger.

Many studies found that being a perfectionist is more inclined to get various ailments, including migraines, chronic pain, and asthma. I would say the desire to strive for excellence is good, it’s the stress which harms our physical health. 


Perfectionism leads to poorer health or better health

It depends on how we interpret and treat failure experiences. It’s good to strive for excellence. But there will be side effects if you strive for absolute perfection, which can easily give you for more failure experiences in return. If we are able to improve our weakness step by step, we can be relatively more impeccable, so as our career and relationships. It depends on the hypothesis. Since we are human beings, we are born to be imperfect, but we can be a better person in the long life journey by becoming a better me. 

Generally, a true perfectionist aims to be to appear to be perfect in an overall side, including appearance, body shape, career performance, and relationships.

Studies found that perfectionism in the elderly still has the same high expectations for life but they are unable to make big changes about their life, which ultimately lead to greater depression and anxiety.

Studies found that those who have strong bonds with good interpersonal relationships tend to be healthier.

As to my observation, the people with the inclination of perfectionism are not good at taking favors from others. They are not good at asking help. They do not like to be treated as the weak, the disadvantaged or the inferior. They prefer to preach lessons or offer help.

Self-denial or lack of self-confidence can be highly associated with old trauma.


Being a positive perfectionist

Generally, a perfectionist might have a higher ability of self-discipline than the average. Hence, they might take better care of their body through self-management and self-discipline. Nevertheless, many perfectionists put their time and effort into their career rather than their health and body.


Q: Will a perfectionist have high levels of stress and anxiety than average people? How to Be a Positive, realistic and unstressful perfectionist? 

It is said that perfectionists are generally had a higher standard for themselves and they are relatively more self-critical. Since they are always looking for improvements, they might fail to satisfy with their performance or present state.


★There are common 2 stereotypical perfectionisms.

  • self-imposed perfectionism

The perfectionist set high standards for themselves. The expectation is based on their own.

  • socially prescribed perfectionism

A socially prescribed perfectionist tends to relatively more concern about the public eye. The perfectionist set high standards for themselves so as to fit the social expectation. In a sense, the perfectionist set high standards for people around them rather than themselves. 

Researchers found socially prescribed perfectionism was associated with poorer physical health and self-oriented perfectionism was associated with better physical health.


#WhyIDidn’tReport|“Too many of us have never felt safe” in a “victim-blaming"culture…

Bullying is a Worldwide phenomenon: How Does the World Treat the Weak and the Disadvantaged in Capitalist Society?

Neuroscience: Multitasking Cause Brain Damage, Mental Health and Lower Work Performance





Margaret W. Lavigne 司馬儀

God knows the motives of our prayers. “You ask and not receive, because you ask with wrong motives” (James 4: 3). Life challenges might be blessings in disguise, because “God only disciplines the one He loves” (Hebrews 12:4-11 NIV). It takes time to figure out the blessings in life. Those who have been “given much, much will be demanded” (Luke 12; 47–48). 手機板建議「利用目錄或關鍵字搜尋主題」或留言發問。初衷是成立一個兼具療癒性及知識性的平台,囊括中英文稿。支持網站最好的方式,是幫忙把文章分享出去。世界太多聲音,太容易迷失,所以互相督促!學問和人際關係,都最怕道聽塗說和一知半解。 理財,從照顧好自己的健康開始!中醫「肝開竅於目、心開竅於舌、脾開竅於唇、肺開竅於鼻、腎開竅於耳」。研究證實好壞情緒會關鍵性決定身體的發炎指數和血糖指數!容易緊繃焦慮不安或睡不好,多補充維生素B和鈣的食物(補給品不建議天天吃,建議攝取天然的食物)。術前或牙科看診前多補充鈣,因為鈣是解痛劑。術後或身體發炎期間或痘痘,多補充E,主修復,可以大大降低留疤機率! 根據營養學,害喜是因為缺乏B6,而攝取含維生素E的食物可避免baby有黃疸的情況。生產前多補充鈣質和維生素D的食物可以有效降低生產的疼痛。 母體缺乏維生素E,是造成早產的常見主因之一。攝取充足維生素E,可望終止慣性流產。 據國外研究,治療阿茲海默症(失智症),戒糖痊癒機率高!胃食道逆流,建議選擇鹼性飲食,忌過食!便秘,建議攝取水溶性纖維的蔬菜!還有,身體缺少油脂,便缺少潤滑劑,無法順利排便。肩頸痛、背痛建議按壓手背指間的穴道,效果立見!脖子控管甲狀腺和自律神經,甲狀腺控管體溫,所以手腳冰冷或自律神經失調或久坐族群,都應該經常按壓手背食指和中指之間的穴道,非常有效。嘉義,不容錯過的景點《鰲鼓濕地》、《幸福山丘》、《傲慢烘培坊》。醫學書籍推薦《求醫不如求己》及《向癒》。盼你我都能抵達想去的地方,想著別人的好,卻是最先溫暖了自己。最近很想找好喝的擂茶。合作邀約




這個網站採用 Akismet 服務減少垃圾留言。進一步瞭解 Akismet 如何處理網站訪客的留言資料