The Dark Side of Being a Stressful Perfectionist

A perfectionist has conditional self-worth.


A perfectionist decides his happiness by whether he gets a promotion or whether people recognize his efforts and performance.

Since they have pushed themselves to the limit, getting negative feedbacks would be unbearable for them.


A perfectionist never allows himself to take rest.

Thus, they have a higher risk for burnout, which is a surefire way to have their health condition decline.


Can a perfectionist be comfortable with his imperfection in all sides?


A perfectionist would be in great fear of unveiling one’s imperfect self. And it could be a detrimental factor for long-term love relationships and mental health.

Some scientists have argued that high-achievers can be classified as “positive perfectionists,” that they reap the benefits of perfectionism without falling victim to its perils. Nevertheless, a pessimistic perfectionist might become depressed and extremely anxious under stress in the long term.

Being a perfectionist can be very frustrating because you never be perfect on all sides. God takes something away from every individual so we can be more compassionate to others’ loss or deficit.  

Mostly, a perfectionist might suffer from a  sense of dissatisfaction for failing to meet the perfect standard at heart.  You never feel good enough about yourself. It will be harder for you to feel fulfilled for your work. Perfectionists are often people pleaser by striving to make everyone happy.
Perfectionists are constantly judging themselves. So, they can be more easily to get depressed than average people.
Thus, they might have a higher standard for people around them as well. Being highly critical of others can be harmful to interpersonal relationships, marriage, and parent-child relationships.


Self-denial is not born by nature. Lack of self-confidence or the inability to love yourself is a hint of old wounds.

You might get hurt when others throw stones at you for the first time. And then, you become the one who throws stones at yourself and you stop appreciating your self-worth, which means you find your own value from the judgment of others, or you start to question yourself and your life decisions. You don’t like yourself that much as before.

“Am I deserve to be loved or accepted?” You wonder whether you are good enough, which means that you are being hurt and you are going through self-denying. There’s a wound at heart which makes you unable love yourself or accepts yourself.


The Dark Side of Being a Stressful Perfectionist

Perfectionists, by definition, strive for the best and being meticulous at every side and every detail. At the core, being a perfectionist come with both good points and perils.

Being a perfectionist can be quite counterproductive in considering the health issue. When it comes to jobs, perfectionism is essentially valued as a virtue by avoiding making any errors. Nevertheless, a perfectionist is more inclined to set lofty goals which can hardly be accomplished within a short period of time. Once stress and anxiety accumulated, a person’s mental and physical health can be put in danger.

Many studies found that being a perfectionist is more inclined to get various ailments, including migraines, chronic pain, and asthma. I would say the desire to strive for excellence is good, it’s the stress which harms our physical health. 


Perfectionism leads to poorer health or better health

It depends on how we interpret and treat failure experiences. It’s good to strive for excellence. But there will be side effects if you strive for absolute perfection, which can easily give you for more failure experiences in return. If we are able to improve our weakness step by step, we can be relatively more impeccable, so as our career and relationships. It depends on the hypothesis. Since we are human beings, we are born to be imperfect, but we can be a better person in the long life journey by becoming a better me. 

Generally, a true perfectionist aims to be to appear to be perfect in an overall side, including appearance, body shape, career performance, and relationships.

Studies found that perfectionism in the elderly still has the same high expectations for life but they are unable to make big changes about their life, which ultimately lead to greater depression and anxiety.

Studies found that those who have strong bonds with good interpersonal relationships tend to be healthier.

As to my observation, the people with the inclination of perfectionism are not good at taking favors from others. They are not good at asking help. They do not like to be treated as the weak, the disadvantaged or the inferior. They prefer to preach lessons or offer help.

Self-denial or lack of self-confidence can be highly associated with old trauma.


Being a positive perfectionist

Generally, a perfectionist might have a higher ability of self-discipline than the average. Hence, they might take better care of their body through self-management and self-discipline. Nevertheless, many perfectionists put their time and effort into their career rather than their health and body.


Q: Will a perfectionist have high levels of stress and anxiety than average people? How to Be a Positive, realistic and unstressful perfectionist? 

It is said that perfectionists are generally had a higher standard for themselves and they are relatively more self-critical. Since they are always looking for improvements, they might fail to satisfy with their performance or present state.


★There are common 2 stereotypical perfectionisms.

  • self-imposed perfectionism

The perfectionist set high standards for themselves. The expectation is based on their own.

  • socially prescribed perfectionism

A socially prescribed perfectionist tends to relatively more concern about the public eye. The perfectionist set high standards for themselves so as to fit the social expectation. In a sense, the perfectionist set high standards for people around them rather than themselves. 

Researchers found socially prescribed perfectionism was associated with poorer physical health and self-oriented perfectionism was associated with better physical health.


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