Failed Relationships Should be Justified in the Route of Love-Searching

First, let me ask a question: Do you or people around you tend to believe that a perfect wonderful family life will be “the best evidence and rewards of a good-hearted woman”?

 

People wondered why so many wonderful women trapped in bad, unhealthy or even abusive relationships for years, decades or even a lifetime. Most women heard the story of Cinderella in their childhood. It is about a good-hearted girl whose miserable life becomes perfectly wonderful after she meets her Mr. Right. By marrying a flawless prince, the leading lady transforms her life from hell to heaven. Evidently, the author aims to encourage people to keep goodwill in the hard times and there will be blessings. Thanks to the popularity of Disney’s fairy tales, most people believe that good persons are supposed to be lucky in all sides with a wonderful family, wonderful life partner and wonderful kids and they are expected to lead a life exempt from troubles and worries. As more people embrace this unrealistic belief, more people become judgmental and indifferent to other people’s life troubles and sufferings. That’s the worst part of it.[1]

 

Here’s the question: Does the mainstream public assume that “every good-hearted woman” will be blessed and find their Mr. Right in their first dating or 1st marriage?

 

[1] Books are the channel for us to experience the world beyond our culture and real life. For readers of all ages, literature and children’s book do help children to explore and reflect the world more on moral and emotional issues, or even the social codes. We expect children’s books to impart lessons to children. However, I believe children learn more from their parents, the Bible, the church and the real world. If the parents are narrow-minded, closed or judgmental, it might affect the kids to judge the world.

Does the mainstream public harden against people who fail to find their Mr. Right smoothly in the route of love-searching by believing that good-hearted women are supposed to be lucky and blessed in the route of love-searching like Cinderella?

 

The far-reaching influence of the fairy tale “Cinderella” is assured. Too many girls are desperately hoping to be envied as valued as the lucky good-hearted girl who finds their ideal true love so that they can receive ultimate congratulations, celebrations and social recognition from the public.

 

Ultimately, this idea traps countless women in bad, wrong and unhealthy relationships on earth. Countless women would rather embrace loveless or unhappy relationships than being alone and be judged.

**

Evidently, author of “Cinderella” Charles Perrault try to encourage people to keep good-will in the hard times. But, what’ the problem of this world-known story? What’re the inspirations from the storyline?  

 

#1: Bad things happen to good people, like Cinderella

This idea gives compensation for those who are suffering from oppression, bullying or injustice of the world.

 

#2: Only the good-hearted girl will be the lucky girl to be loved and appreciated by Mr. Perfect, like Cinderella

 

Worldwide readers internalize the ideas from “Cinderella” that only women who have a good heart will be lucky in the route of love searching. Since then, women are educated to believe that their life can be flawlessly perfect if they cinch a perfect love relationship.

 

And most people tend to believe that “a perfect wonderful love life or family life with an ideal husband will be the best evidence and rewards of a good-hearted woman.”

 

Consequently, women who fall in love with a Mr. Wrong or fail to find their Mr. Perfect early in their life or in their first marriage might be labeled or victimized as unfortunate girls, or women who are not “good-hearted” enough to be blessed in the route of love searching.[1]  

 

Aside from this, the global “victim-blaming culture” is another driving force to trap wonderful women in troublesome relationships for decades or even a lifetime.

 

[1] What’s worse, women who fall in love with Mr. Abusive can potentially be badly judged as someone who does not possess a kind heart. What about the life of Jesus? Who is the most good-hearted person you can think of and what his/her life like?[1]

 

#3: A normal girls’ life can be perfect if she is able to finds or meets her Mr. Prince, like Cinderella 

 

Cinderella’s normal miserable life becomes perfectly wonderful after she meets her Mr. Prince. Thus, countless women are inspired to set their heart on searching their Mr. Right more than anything else. That fully explains why so many people rush themselves to enter into a relationship with someone they do not truly understand.

 

Aside from “Cinderella,” “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” also disseminates the same idea that a Mr. Right can be the lifesaver “to make a woman secure “wonderfully perfect life” which is free from worries, troubles and suffering.”

 

Fairy tales of “Cinderella,” and “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” both render a perfect fantasy about marriage life and love life, which gives readers unrealistic and false expectations. The reality is that there will be challenges for every couple and every family has their own problems and issues after the wedding day.

 

#4: As to the meaning of a good-hearted woman, she has to show unlimited forgiveness and tolerance to those who abuse her, like Cinderella [1]

 

In response to emotional or physical bullying, silence, absolute tolerance or unconditional forgiveness apparent are not wise moves, which might incite more serious bullying.

***

[1] We should not ask the hurt ones to offer unlimited forgiveness. Instead, we should as those who make mistakes to bear the responsibility to take their faults.

 

True love and forever love are happening in fairy tales. Girls want to be the lucky girls as the leading ladies in the fairy tales who find their Mr. Right and embrace wonderful life on all sides.

 

Many girls hunger can’t be alert to the warning signs of a bad relationship when they are desperate to clinch an intimate relationship.

 

To convince themselves they are the lucky good-hearted girl, girls tend to constantly remind themselves that their love relationship is the perfect one and the right one even when they are situated in an unhappy relationship.

 

Girls hate breakups and separation. Too many women blind their rationality and try so hard to collect the evidence of being loved, though it could be something happened a long time ago, trivial and rare.

 

We’ve seen too many women hold onto the old good moments or little lovely things what their BF has done for them. We’ve seen so many women trying so hard to convince themselves that this relationship is worth to keep so can be the lucky girl who finds her Mr. Right/Prince. So, she can be happy for herself.

 

Firstly, Mr. Wrong or Mr. Abusive can be super attentive when they chase after women. And most women identify those who chase after them most persistently as the men who love them most, which is not true! There are men who can never confess their love. And they are women who are good at catering women without any drop of sincerity.

 

Girls are overly dread of falling in love with Mr. Wrong. Most women can’t bear the fact that they have chosen someone untrustworthy or unfaithful. Thus, it often takes women more time to accept the hard truth.

 

It’s never easy for most woman to embrace the hard truth that they fall in love with someone who is not worthy of their love especially for those who have high dignity.

 

What is worse, once girls value their significant partner as the Mr. Wrong or Mr. Abusive, they can’t avoid the pity or even social prejudice from the crowd, and they know they will be labeled as an unfortunate girl or even a victim from the world too. Thus, it’s can be terribly difficult for a woman to admit that she falls in love with someone who doesn’t deserve her love. Consequently, most women are more likely to ignore the warning signs and problems in the relationship and that’s why it often takes a woman a long time to end a bad relationship. Who is to blame?

 

We live in a society where often preaches the importance of forgiveness and tolerance. The world often preaches to us that true love is accepting everything a person who is. Countless “women” women surrender for the sake of love. They compromise too much. They make too much devotion, commitment and contributions for the sake of love without limits or boundaries. They leave their principles behind.

 

Forgiveness is a beautiful idea. And most people are educated to be tolerant in love. The sad fact is that too many women are enslaved by the idea of “unconditional forgiveness.”

 

Too many women forgive their partners’ long-term ignorance, cheating, repeated extramarital affair, persistent verbal and physical violence with unlimited forgiveness.

 

It’s understandable that most women try hard to persuade themselves that they are being loved to make themselves mentally comfortable.

But, any form of violence is bullying, which has nothing to do with love. There’s not violet love. There’s no fake love. Love can’t breathe in violence; love can’t coexist with violence. If there’s violence in an imitate relationship, it only means someone tries to bully you in the name of love to make him feel better or to make him feel superior to you. Nothing more.

 

What I am trying to say it that it’s not women’s duty or obligation to practice unlimited forgiveness within or without marriages. It’s a trap and it bullies the lives of too many wonderful women who are essentially the softie.

 

Domestic violence is unforgivable. As to God, there are forgivable and unforgivable sins. God didn’t spare the angel as they make unforgivable sins. Remember, there are last Judgment and God’s wrath.

 

Relevant post: Best Breakup English Songs | Ending a Bad Love Relationship

司馬儀

Countless people feel they are badly rewarded by God. Most people stigmatize their life troubles because they know nothing about “God’s discipline” in the Bible (Hebrews 12:11). It takes time to figure out the blessings in life. God does not tend to make anyone’s life perfect. It’s just some people hide their tears from you. According to the Bible, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God” (NRSV, Mark 10:23-27). Because those who have been “given much, much will be demanded” (Luke 12; 47–48). As an editor, I tend to unveil the issues which are easily neglected by the mainstream public. The best way to support the website is to help share the articles on Facebook, Line or Instagram. Many thanks. 手機板或電腦版都建議「利用目錄或關鍵字搜尋主題」或留言發問。期許是兼具療癒性及知識性的平台,囊括心靈雞湯專欄、國內外醫療資訊、國內外電視劇電影專欄、日英語教學專欄、書單推薦、職場專欄、親子教育專欄、逛街情報、旅遊美食、理財專欄等。支持網站最好的方式,是幫忙把文章分享出去。 致父母們:你希望你的孩子聽話,是出自愛或恐懼? 最理想的親子關係是,父母讓孩子知道「即便你很愛我,你人生的所有選擇,也不需要都聽我的!」 關於教育,不該只focus要求孩子「聽話」,應該盡可能早點教會孩子「拒絕」「求救」「表達自己的想法」與「選擇和做決定的能力」。安全範圍內,給孩子摔跤的機會。 世界太多聲音,太容易迷失,互相督促!學問和人際關係,都最怕道聽塗說和一知半解。 理財,從照顧好自己的健康開始!中醫「肝開竅於目、心開竅於舌、脾開竅於唇、肺開竅於鼻、腎開竅於耳」。研究證實好壞情緒會關鍵性決定身體的發炎指數和血糖指數!容易緊繃焦慮不安或睡不好,多補充維生素B和鈣的食物(建議以原生食物取代補給品,補給品不建議天天吃)。術前或牙科前多補充鈣,因為鈣是解痛劑。術後或身體發炎期間或痘痘,多補充E,主修復,讓身體不易留疤! 根據營養學,害喜是因為缺乏B6,而多攝取含維生素E的食物,可避免baby有黃疸的情況。生產前多補充鈣質和維生素D的食物可以有效降低生產的疼痛。 母體本身缺乏維生素E,是造成早產的主要原因之一。攝取充足維生素E,可望終止慣性流產。 據國外研究,治療阿茲海默症(失智症),戒糖痊癒機率高!胃食道逆流,建議選擇鹼性飲食,忌過食!便秘,建議攝取水溶性纖維的蔬菜!還有,身體缺少油脂,便缺少潤滑劑,無法順利排便。肩頸痛、背痛建議按壓手背指間的穴道,效果立見!脖子控管甲狀腺和自律神經,甲狀腺控管體溫,所以手腳冰冷或自律神經失調或久坐族群,都應該經常按壓手背食指和中指之間的穴道,非常有效。嘉義,不容錯過的景點《鰲鼓濕地》《幸福山丘》《逐鹿部落》《傲慢烘培坊》。醫學推薦書《求醫不如求己》《向癒》。

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