Take Advice from the Bible: Parenting and Toxic Parents

By Margaret W. Lavigne 

Should the kids honor or obey toxic parents?

Those who are being irritable are those who are suffering inside. If you find it difficult to forgive the faults of your parents, talk to God. Cultivate compassion and express gratitude for the things they do right. Refrain from making aggressive, rude or disparaging remarks to your parents. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone wants to be forgiven.  Everyone has their hard times in life. If you find your mental health is at stake because of your toxic parents, try to keep distance with them or limit the time you guys spend together. 


Parents Can Be Vulnerable

Parents are expected to be strong and mature, but they can be vulnerable and helpless for sure. Parents might suffer from low self-esteem, depression and anxiety like anyone else.  Parents might suffer from chronic illness or financial problems. Parents might covet children’s approval, recognition, hug and forgiveness.


Those who are strong inside are soft outside, and vice versa. Kids are dying for parents’ attention and recognition. Indeed, parents want to be praised by their kids.


For instance, innumerable women suffer from depression due to physical aging. Women are dread of aging. The prevalence of depression is disproportionately higher in older women than men. For those who suffer from severe depression, their ability to give love decreased or nullified. Love is the cure for depression. Depression, anxiety disorder and domestic violence are highly connected.


Depression is common among older adults. Those who are depressed suffer from chronic fatigue that they can’t get rid of their tiredness out of rest or sleep. Those who suffer from depression are more likely to suffer from insomnia and grow to be irritable.It’s worth noting that chronic depression increased the risks of liver disease, Alzheimer’s disease, diabetes and brain fog.



Time For Self-Reflection  

Do we ask for love with smiles or  angry faces? When people do not give us what we want, such as desired response or attention, do we get mad at them?



There’s No Perfect Ideal  Parents

Stop getting trapped by the idea of “ideal parents.” Rich parents might not have enough time for their kids or they are prone to be prideful, inflexible and judgmental. Those who survive from an abusive family might be more capable to survive in a dark world. 


Boring from a poor family does also come with hidden advantages if you believe that personality matters most in the route to a good life. Those who born from a born family are more likely to practice self-reliance early in life. Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote: “It’s ultimately up to you to take yourself where want to go.”


Self-reliance is highly linked to freedom, personal happiness and success. The more self-reliant you are, the more confident you become. By being self-reliant, you are empowered with autonomy. By being self-reliant, you are empowered to give rather than take favors from others. That’s how some teenagers transform themselves into the caregiver or protector of the family early in life. It’s a commonplace thing that those who play the role of a protector ultimately become the strong. Indeed, those who grow up in a tough situation seem to demonstrate higher perseverance as they go through life challenges than their counterparts. It is a well-established fact that perseverance is one of the key-deciders to take us secure what we want out of life.


Significantly, most people become fearless after surviving over big disasters in life. That’s named post-traumatic growth, namely post-traumatic blessing. No social prejudice, no trauma. As we stop being the slave of the public eye, we become the strong and vice versa. Those who cater the public eye are the vulnerable ones no matter how much they have.


We Can’t be An Ideal Kid Either

For instance, I  am sensitive to the words that people use. I was uncompromising until I made a false judgment in my life. I was dread of conflicts and that’s how I suffered from suppressed anger. I was the one who magnify people’s faults and my own contribution.


As I turn things around by magnifying my past errors and people’s contribution, negative emotions disappear without effort. 


That’s How I Forgive Others and Secure Inner Peace Again

Step 1.minimize my contribution
Step 2.magnify my past errors
Step 3.magnify others’ contribution and support


You might take effort to work on a better parent-child relationship. If you find yourself surround by negative emotions, it means your soul have been wounded. You have to focus on healing first. Take moves to  adjust the relationship. Adjust your expectation of an ideal parents. Do not seek  intimate parent-child relationship but peaceful parent-child relationship for the time being. 

If you suffer by holding hatred against your parents, the following questions will help you find the antidote. 

  1. What have I done for them over the years? 
  2. Do I need their apology? Will their apology helps? 
  3. What I  want from them? What can they do to earn my forgiveness? 
  4. Do my parents suffer for any reasons? What makes them suffer? 


There’s a limit to everyone. If you find yourself suffer from unshakable negative emotions, focus on healing your soul first by analyzing the roots of your pain. Make changes to your life. 


Margaret W. Lavigne 司馬儀

There’s a strong link between imperfection, unconditional love and posttraumatic growth. In truth, we can only witness unconditional love in the hard times. If you believe in luck or miracles, be aware of the seven deadly sins and the seven heavenly virtues. According to the Bible, no one will be exempt from life challenges, including the chosen ones (1 Peter 1:3-9). God expects us to stay hopeful and “rejoice in our sufferings,” because “trials of various kinds” are training to make us “perfect and complete” (Romans 5:3-6, James 1:1-27). It’s comforting to know that “God promises to make something good out of the storm” (Roman 8: 28). We fall and we learn. As we learn to humble ourselves, life gets better. The connection between the brain and stomach is bidirectional. Excessive sugar intake sabotages our immune system that 70% to 80% of our immunity hinges on our gut health. Memory loss and cognitive impairment are common symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, all of which are highly connected to type 2 diabetes. Early signs of type 2 diabetes include chronic fatigue, irritability, frequent urination, vision problems and slow wound healing. Depression is prevalent in people with diabetes due to the fact that diabetes causes “structural changes in the brain.” It’s worth noting that muscle-building helps regulate blood sugar levels. There is growing evidence that high blood sugar leads to reduced muscle mass. Beyond that, there’s a strong link between sleep deprivation and emotional weakness Be aware of the power of tenderness, humility and subconscious mind. Generally, negative emotions root in the inability to forgive, vanity or pride. People suffer from suppressed anger. God is watching our every move. God sees through our motives. Mental health crisis is sweeping on a global scale because the core value of capitalism is incompatible with what human truly needs. Money cannot purchase inner peace nor unconditional love. Wealth incurs fair-weather friends, frenemies and snobs. I would say, inner peace is the utmost blessing from God. Trauma is highly linked to chronic fatigue and chronic illness. Take time to deal with your old mental wounds. 佛教用因果論概括一切,而聖經主張人生必有難題,但好好表現,災難背後會有禮物。如果你以為誰的人生很輕鬆,肯定是你跟對方不熟。脖子控管自律神經!肩頸僵硬,「自律神經」就會被受到壓迫!自律神經失調引發的症狀包括頭痛、暈眩、焦慮、失眠、倦怠、口渴、耳鳴,甚至憂鬱等症狀。自律神經失調了,血液的品質也會跟著惡化!解法:甩手操。建議多按壓頭皮、耳朵和手上的穴道。腸胃健康和大腦健康息息相關,國外大力探討久坐對身體的傷害!健康建議:天芢無糖抹茶搭配芝麻和牛奶X 無糖豆漿X鹼性飲食X淋巴按摩X練肌耐力(控制血糖的關鍵)。鈣是解痛劑。維生素E主修復,可加速傷口癒合。高壓容易緊張族群可多攝取維生素B和鈣的食物。一夜白頭是心理影響身體的鐵證,勿低估負面情緒對身體的傷害,包括生悶氣或憂愁。詳情請參看網站醫療專欄。壞脾氣一定有理由,可能是高血糖或創傷症候群或高壓族群,而壞情緒會把幸運(福氣)和天使嚇跑。禍福相依,好消息可能會成為頭痛點,壞消息可能成為跳點!不屬於自己的只會逗留,不會久留,勿強求。引用小說《推理愛》:「判斷一個人愛不愛她很難,但判斷一個人珍不珍惜她卻很簡單。」「帶著疤,才可以找到真正愛你的人。」「柔和」「謙卑」與「歸零」的力量。自信缺氧,就用力學習。不自律就無法成為更好的自己,不自律就無法肯定自己!提醒自己:做該做的而不是想做的。預防改善糖尿病推薦食材:洋蔥、無糖抹茶、咖哩及酪梨。理財時代,從照顧好自己的健康開始。遠離乳癌,醫師呼籲不要使用塑膠袋裝熱食!國外研究證實:阿茲海默症患者「禁糖」便可望痊癒!人們低估了「糖過量」及「過食」對身體的破壞力。咖啡和巧克力的好被過度放大.精神不濟喝咖啡恐消耗維生素B。聖經說了,說過的每句話都會被記錄在一本書裡!好壞都被記錄了,所以聖經主張人們不可記他人的過錯。最佳午睡時間是20分鐘和90分鐘。以上,互相督促。生命線協談專線:1995 安心專線:1925 張老師專線:1980 自殺防治諮詢安心專線:0800-788995




這個網站採用 Akismet 服務減少垃圾留言。進一步瞭解 Akismet 如何處理網站訪客的留言資料