Take Advice from the Bible: Parenting and Toxic Parents
Should the kids honor or obey toxic parents?
Those who are being irritable are those who are suffering inside. If you find it difficult to forgive the faults of your parents, talk to God. Cultivate compassion and express gratitude for the things they do right. Refrain from making aggressive, rude or disparaging remarks to your parents. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone wants to be forgiven. Everyone has their hard times in life. If you find your mental health is at stake because of your toxic parents, try to keep distance with them or limit the time you guys spend together.
Parents Can Be Vulnerable
Parents are expected to be strong and mature, but they can be vulnerable and helpless for sure. Parents might suffer from low self-esteem, depression and anxiety like anyone else. Parents might suffer from chronic illness or financial problems. Parents might covet children’s approval, recognition, hug and forgiveness.
Those who are strong inside are soft outside, and vice versa. Kids are dying for parents’ attention and recognition. Indeed, parents want to be praised by their kids.
For instance, innumerable women suffer from depression due to physical aging. Women are dread of aging. The prevalence of depression is disproportionately higher in older women than men. For those who suffer from severe depression, their ability to give love decreased or nullified. Love is the cure for depression. Depression, anxiety disorder and domestic violence are highly connected.
Depression is common among older adults. Those who are depressed suffer from chronic fatigue that they can’t get rid of their tiredness out of rest or sleep. Those who suffer from depression are more likely to suffer from insomnia and grow to be irritable.It’s worth noting that chronic depression increased the risks of liver disease, Alzheimer’s disease, diabetes and brain fog.
Time For Self-Reflection
Do we ask for love with smiles or angry faces? When people do not give us what we want, such as desired response or attention, do we get mad at them?
There’s No Perfect Ideal Parents
Stop getting trapped by the idea of “ideal parents.” Rich parents might not have enough time for their kids or they are prone to be prideful, inflexible and judgmental. Those who survive from an abusive family might be more capable to survive in a dark world.
Boring from a poor family does also come with hidden advantages if you believe that personality matters most in the route to a good life. Those who born from a born family are more likely to practice self-reliance early in life. Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote: “It’s ultimately up to you to take yourself where want to go.”
Self-reliance is highly linked to freedom, personal happiness and success. The more self-reliant you are, the more confident you become. By being self-reliant, you are empowered with autonomy. By being self-reliant, you are empowered to give rather than take favors from others. That’s how some teenagers transform themselves into the caregiver or protector of the family early in life. It’s a commonplace thing that those who play the role of a protector ultimately become the strong. Indeed, those who grow up in a tough situation seem to demonstrate higher perseverance as they go through life challenges than their counterparts. It is a well-established fact that perseverance is one of the key-deciders to take us secure what we want out of life.
Significantly, most people become fearless after surviving over big disasters in life. That’s named post-traumatic growth, namely post-traumatic blessing. No social prejudice, no trauma. As we stop being the slave of the public eye, we become the strong and vice versa. Those who cater the public eye are the vulnerable ones no matter how much they have.
We Can’t be An Ideal Kid Either
For instance, I am sensitive to the words that people use. I was uncompromising until I made a false judgment in my life. I was dread of conflicts and that’s how I suffered from suppressed anger. I was the one who magnify people’s faults and my own contribution.
As I turn things around by magnifying my past errors and people’s contribution, negative emotions disappear without effort.
That’s How I Forgive Others and Secure Inner Peace Again
Step 1.minimize my contribution
Step 2.magnify my past errors
Step 3.magnify others’ contribution and support
You might take effort to work on a better parent-child relationship. If you find yourself surround by negative emotions, it means your soul have been wounded. You have to focus on healing first. Take moves to adjust the relationship. Adjust your expectation of an ideal parents. Do not seek intimate parent-child relationship but peaceful parent-child relationship for the time being.
If you suffer by holding hatred against your parents, the following questions will help you find the antidote.
- What have I done for them over the years?
- Do I need their apology? Will their apology helps?
- What I want from them? What can they do to earn my forgiveness?
- Do my parents suffer for any reasons? What makes them suffer?
There’s a limit to everyone. If you find yourself suffer from unshakable negative emotions, focus on healing your soul first by analyzing the roots of your pain. Make changes to your life.