高社交高焦慮時代:不論結果和外界評價,能否肯定努力的自己?

Wise Library 1985 |司馬儀

達標以前,能否肯定努力中的自己?

聯考是一條漫漫長路,但人生更長,如果你有遠大的目標,達標勢必也需要好多年,甚至十年以上或數十年的努力和等待!即便果實沒有實踐,也不會徒勞無功,因為一路上的累積都會回報到下一個階段下一次的實驗!但,無論成果如何,能不能給予一路很努力的自己肯定?

 

高社交時代,卻伴隨高焦慮時代

人類的弱點:太想被欣賞羨慕認同!談到憂鬱,多數人聯想到的是壓力,我想更正確的說法應該是恐懼!恐懼是因為在乎,恐懼往往伴隨焦慮與害怕,害怕落後,害怕失敗,也害怕徒勞無功,或害怕那些貶低否定的惡言惡語!作家H和憂鬱共處很長一段時間,他坦言好勝是導因,他也主張越是好勝,往往越容易罹患憂鬱症。我想那是一種害怕落後的心理狀態。

 

多人拼命擁有更多,不過是希望被旁人認可欣賞認同讚美罷了!可是你會發現,有的人他可能因為被否定被貶低過,而拼命努力,最後終於被主流社會歸類為人生勝利組的一員,最後他卻感到很失落或更加孤寂,或許是對人情冷暖的不適應….

 

多數人需要的是「賽前精神上的支持與鼓勵」而不是「功成名就以後的讚揚與褒獎」。社會痛苦的導因是:多數人都無法給予正在努力中的人肯定或支持,而是跑去幫那些已經成功的人鼓掌!奔跑中的人,才是真正需要掌聲和被撐傘的人們!

人際關係

朋友付出心理學|  霸凌  |厭世人際關係  |拒絕力濫好人(迴避衝突.好人包袱)| 內向者 |高敏族亞斯人.亞斯伯格症創傷 |自信心易怒心理學原諒 |親子教育勵志專欄心理諮商 |心理醫生完美主義

 

 

戀愛.婚姻.恐怖情人

夫婦愛情婚姻兩性專欄避孕 | 分手離婚家事分配家暴 |暗戀曖昧避嫌出軌劈腿 |純友誼告白約會強暴恐怖情人申請保護令通姦除罪化

 

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Margaret W. Lavigne 司馬儀

Life can be beautiful without perfection. There’s a strong link between unconditional love and posttraumatic growth. In truth, people can only witness unconditional love in hard times. If you believe in luck or miracles, be aware of the seven deadly sins and the power of tenderness. According to the Bible, no one will be exempt from life challenges, including the chosen ones (1 Peter 1:3-9). God expects us to stay hopeful and “rejoice in our sufferings,” because “trials of various kinds” are training to make us “perfect and complete” (Romans 5:3-6, James 1:1-27). It’s comforting to know that “God promises to make something good out of the storm” (Roman 8: 28). We fall and we learn. As we learn to humble ourselves, life gets better. The connection between the brain and stomach is bidirectional. Excessive sugar intake and chronic stress sabotage our immune system that 70% to 80% of our immunity hinges on our gut health. Memory loss and cognitive impairment are common symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, all of which are highly connected to type 2 diabetes. Early signs of type 2 diabetes include chronic fatigue, irritability, frequent urination, vision problems and slow wound healing. Depression is prevalent in people with diabetes due to the fact that diabetes causes “structural changes in the brain.” Muscle-building helps regulate blood sugar levels. There is growing evidence that high blood sugar leads to reduced muscle mass. Beyond that, there’s a strong link between sleep deprivation and emotional weakness People suffer from suppressed anger. God is watching our every move. God sees through our motives. Mental health crisis is sweeping on a global scale because the core value of capitalism is incompatible with what human truly needs. Money cannot purchase inner peace. Wealth incurs fair-weather friends, frenemies and snobs. Inner peace is the utmost blessing from God. Take time to deal with your old mental wounds. 佛教主張因果論,而 Bible主張人生必有難題(不論好人壞人),主張磨練都是鍛鍊心智,但災難的背後會有禮物(禍福相依,壞消息可能是跳板,好消息處理不當就變成頭痛點)!Bible主張人生只有一回,沒有前世今生!人生會有很多上蒼的隨堂考,氣生災,如果你相信成功需要幸運,把「柔」做好,就可以賺福氣,Bible強調自律、謙卑和禍從口出。潛意識24小時不睡覺,中醫主張生悶氣、恐懼和悲觀是疾病的根源。很多人可能想不到很多老毛病是肩頸僵硬引起的,「因為肩頸僵硬會引發自律神經失調」,而自律神經失調恐引發一大串的毛病!久坐者即便沒有駝背也可能有「坐姿前傾」的問題,建議手臂做180%和90%的拉伸動作,按壓指間穴道也有大助益。健康建議:天芢無糖抹茶牛奶+ 無糖豆漿+鹼性飲食(可提高基礎體溫)+淋巴按摩X 頭皮耳朵穴道按摩+甩手操或拍打功或低耗氧的運動。糖尿病可逆轉!「提高肌肉量」是控制血糖的的關鍵!人們低估了「糖過量」及「過食」對身體的破壞力。國外研究證實阿茲海默症患者「禁糖」可望痊癒!如果遭受暴力(家暴)、性侵或性騷擾或任何身心虐待,撥打113保護專線,24小時全年無休!生活、學業、工作等等情緒困擾,撥打安心專線「1925」。寫信給司馬儀:Gmail: jpsiawase@gmail.com

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