When Life Does Not Turn Out to Be What You’d Expected ….
When life doesn’t turn out the way we’d hoped, we might experience disappointment, lack of motivation, lethargy, depression, sense of loss, self-judgment, self- denial, anxiety, sense of frustration or even faith crises, all of which can damage our sense of satisfaction in life. How to navigate disappointment and channel our negative emotions?
According to writer Christine Hassler, she asserts in her book Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life that “your disappointment might be the best thing that has ever happened to you.”
Hassler invented the term “expectation hangover” and she classifies the most expectation hangovers into three categories:
- Situational: Something doesn’t turn out the way we wanted it to or we don’t get the satisfactory result as we expected.
- Interpersonal: We are disappointed by someone’s behavior or we’re “unpleasantly surprised” by other’s actions.
- Self-imposed: You don’t live up to the standards or expectations you ’ve set for ourselves.
She asserts that the symptoms of expectation hangover is “lasting,” so we should not neglect it. She also addresses tips from to cope with own expectation hangover
- Recognize your feelings
- Do not compare our experiences to anyone else’s. Focus on your own experience.
She suggests doing a “release writing” to process your emotions. write whatever comes to mind. Hassler demonstrates the mode as following to help you get started. I personally take experiments on it.
I’m angry because I trusted someone who I should not put my trust to.
I’m sad because whenever the chance I was waiting for finally came, I became an anxious coward. I failed to grab good opportunities in life.
I’m ashamed because I easily give up as I am going to reach my target.
I’m disappointed because the female’s friendship is so vulnerable.
I’m scared because I am not sure whether I will regret my life decisions years later or decades later. I am too afraid to make mistakes or bad decisions.
I feel guilty because I am not fully satisfied with my current life when God gives me so many blessings and miracles.
Analyze the Cause of Your Negative Emotion or Unsatisfaction
It’s common that people experience negative emotions, such as anxiety and fury from time to time. First of all, you need to figure out where the negative emotion came from and analyze the cause of your emotion and action. Find the hidden roots of your negative emotions.
- You do not get what you want in life. I would like to quote from Christine Hassler “There is no perfect job nor perfect relationship.” But we can make it better with appreciation, patience and efforts.
Something goes wrong or things don’t turn out to be what you’d hoped. You are not content with your present life. You feel that something is missing from your life. You thought you would be happier if you made a different choice, had a different love relationship, a better job offers, or a lovelier family member, etc.
Sorrow or dissatisfaction with ourselves or our achievements prevents us from enjoying all the good things we have in life. Discouragement and despair occur when your efforts do not bring the desired results.
Apathy may be a hidden way to shift responsibility from something important. Apathy can also be a passive-aggressive way of expressing anger, disappointment, frustration or fear in life. You couldn’t accept life and people the way they are. Thus, you end up feeling frustrated with your life. Your life didn’t fulfill your expectations.
- Someone’s behavior irritates you.
- You recall happy memories of the past and you are tricked by the illusion that everything was much better back then.
- The sense of guilt or regret is a destructive emotion: You feel bad about your own mistakes.
If you are afraid of the unknown, Pray and seek answers from God.
Seek knowledge of the future or the unknown by supernatural means is but a foolish behavior. The wisdom of human beings is much lower than God and they can be totally wrong. Pray and seek answers from God.
- God sees the practice of palm reading sinful without benefit. (Deuteronomy 18:12)
Seeking a palm reader or praying to anyone outside of God or worshipping false idols is essentially dangerous and abominable to God. Many palm readers are but those who good at reading people’s body language and emotional cues.
The earth is created by God. When you come into the land of God, you shall not follow the abominable practices of false prophets.
Facts that You Should Know About Palm Reading
Palm reading is a deceptive practice, which is but a pseudoscience. There is no evidence that palm reading is trustworthy.
Palm reading, also known as palmistry and chiromancy, is the attempt to predicate a person’s future by judging his life span, love relationship, personality traits, and fortune, among other things.
Significantly, the lines in your palm keep changing all the time. It’s not fixed. It’s alterable and it keeps changing based on your mind and behavior. Palm reading cannot be reliable because your fate changes as your thinking and acts changes.
▲Palm reading isn’t directly mentioned in the Bible, but it was specifically forbidden by the Mosaic Law.
Bible Verses about Palm Reading
- “Do not turn to mediums or necromancers [….] I am the LORD your God.” (Leviticus 19:31)
- “You shall not interpret omens or tell fortunes.” (Leviticus 19:26)
- “[D]o not listen to your prophets, your diviners, your dreamers, your fortune-tellers, or your sorcerers” (Jeremiah 27:9)
- “For whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD.” (Deuteronomy 18:1)
- Saul’s involvement in witchcraft “He [Saul] was unfaithful to the Lord, he did not keep the word of the Lord, and even consulted a medium for guidance, and did not inquire of the Lord.” (1 Chronicles 10:13-14) Saul, a powerful king of Israel. He had finally reached his big separation point from God. God didn’t provide Saul with the answers he wanted, he turned to a medium instead.
- 1 John 4:1 ESV “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.”
- Leviticus 20:27 ESV “A man or a woman who is a medium or a necromancer shall surely be put to death. They shall be stoned with stones; their blood shall be upon them.”
- “Anyone who practices divination or tells fortunes or interprets omens, or a sorcerer or a charmer or a medium or a necromancer or one who inquires of the dead, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord.” (Deuteronomy 18:9-14 ESV)
tag: deceptive practice, false teachings, fortune-telling, omens, sorcerer
What Does the Bible Say About Money and Wealth?
Many people asked, “why do people encounter life troubles or even money problems even when they are serving God?” “Why hasn’t God answered my prayers?” “Will God make me prosper if I am a good person?” “What does the Bible say about money, wealth, riches and poverty?”
God Does not Reward Good Persons Wealth★
There is no promise in the Bible that being a good person will secure a perfect dreamed job, wealth, etc. Besides, there is no perfect job in the world.
One verse is cited as the following:
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster. (NLT, Jeremiah 29:11) This verse was directed specifically to the Israelite exiles in Babylon. In the Bible, “prosperity” means peace, safety, health or blessings. But “prosperity” does not directly refer to material prosperity.
God’s faithful people may be rich or poor (2 Chronicles 17:3-5, Job 1:1-3, Matthew 27:57, Mark 12:41-44, Luke 16:19-22, 19:2-9, Proverbs 22:2, Luke 6:20).
Wealth Is not a Sign of God’s Blessing★
- Jesus denied that wealth is a sign of God’s favor. This is shown most clearly in His Parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31).
- Example and Evidence: A rich man ended up in hell because of his hard-heartedness toward the beggar Lazarus. The beggar Lazarus ended up in heaven although he was as impoverished as a man could be. In a sense, the poverty which Lazarus suffers is obviously not a sign of sinfulness.
Wealth Should Be Used in God’s Service
Jesus saw wealth as a gift from God which should be used in His service (Matthew 25:14-30). Those who have been blessed with wealth must share generously with the poor (Matthew 25:31-46), and avoid the sins of arrogance (1 Timothy 6:17-19), dishonesty (Exodus 20:15, Mark 10:19, Luke 3:12-14) and greed (Luke 12:13-21).
Those of us who are blessed with wealth beyond our need have a responsibility to share it with the those in need and show compassion to them. (NIV, 1 John 3:17). Besides, a devotion to gathering wealth is forbidden. Those who are rich should not put their desire or ambition in wealth. Wealth should be utilized in good deeds. (NIV, 1 Timothy 6:17-19)
Wealth Can Be Dangerous If ……
Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it will be for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” And the disciples were perplexed at Jesus’s statements. They were greatly astounded and asked, “Then who can be saved?” (NRSV, Mark 10:23-27)
Do not rationalize your greed for money★
The craving for wealth and material possessions can potentially lead people into temptations. Addition to money-accumulation is a sign of greed. The love of money can easily make a person fall into temptation and give rise to self-destruction. (TNIV, 1 Timothy 6:9-11, emphasis added). Fraud or any form of dishonesty for personal material gain would push a person from God’s blessing and love.