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Love Relationship |How to Mend a Broken Heart? How to Find My Destiny?

  |Wise Library 1985 |Margaret W. Lavigne 

Common Causes of Depression & Suffering 

Being mistreated is the sin of others and the training of yours. Turn your life troubles into your courage. 

Heal from a broken Heart 

There is research that suggests that both physical pain and emotional pain share some neurological similarities. Both emotional and physical pain lead to changes in the prefrontal cortex and cingulate cortex in the brain.

Post-Traumatic Growth: Turn Your Wounds into Responsibilities to the World


Walking away from a love relationship has nothing to do with failure or worthlessness. Some people can never be free from the outdated romantic promise of his/her old lover, or literally former lover. Without a doubt, the act of giving a promise is sweet. Some people view promise as forever love, and some view it as a commitment or responsibility. We once professed our love for someone with grand romance. We once pledged to love someone forever but we failed. Your self-esteem might somehow be shakedned due to mental wounds. Your self-value hinges on how you evaluate yourself and how you interpret the happenings that happened to you. When the one you count upon letting you down, don’t panic. Mutual trust and esteem are necessary requirements in all relationships. You are valuable if you can memorize the best part of life and let the sadness go. Treating yourself well reminds people that you’re worthy of being loved. When a relationship comes to an end, how you interpret the relationship matters in the healing process. You’d better picture your future visions rather than count on what you lose in a love relationship.


People desire senses of belongings and intimate relationships out of nature. It is understandable that we undergo a sense of powerlessness or a sense of loss whenever the outcome is not what we expect in a life path. You might feel disillusioned when you believe that you lose something important or precious. You might be suffered from self-doubt and sense of grief. Waves of emotions pour in at midnight and you feel disoriented. It is widely believed that no matter how accomplished or intelligent you are in real life, still, you might encounter obstacles in love relationships. When your love relationship is in danger, it demands rationality and determination to decide whether to stay or walk away from the relationship. You are not alone. Countless people go through the same experience as you. Almost everybody harbours the desire to build a stable intimate relationship, especially eternal love relationship. If you realize walking away from an unpromisingly love relationship is not a particular tragedy but liberation, you will be totally relieved. If the relationship is basically toxic, then you should be grateful that you end it successfully. You have to tell yourself that both parties agree to end the relationship because you both admit it is a worn-out love relationship.  

A toxic Mr. Wrong typically refers to a man who stresses you out and makes you confused or depressed. Dating with Mr. Toxic/Mr. Abusive is absolutely a route of self-destruction. Dating with a Mr. Right and Mr. Toxic would be extremely contrasting experiences. Wake up from your fantasy! If you desire to be well-treated and be loved, leave him before it is too late. Falling in love with the wrong person with irresistible passion is much like drug-addition. You have to leave the wrong guy with strong determination for the sake of your future. The initial step might be difficult but over time you will feel terribly much better after a few months or a few weeks or a few days.

▲He that can’t endure the bad will not live to see the good.




How to Recover From an Abusive Relationship?

 Either you end the relationship with Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong, don’t let yourself indulge in negative or pessimistic thinking. You’d better work on something productive. Creating something valuable in a career or in life can definitely shift your focus and ease your pain. You are passionate for him and you can definitely passionate for another man if you are willing to give it a try. You still have tons of chance to get to know the perfect man. 

  • If a problem can be solved with money, then it’s not a problem but a cost.

More Info

Painkillers may also mend a broken heart | News | The Times

Can Tylenol Help Heal a Broken Heart? – The New York Times

What can I do shortly after a sudden breakup?


The following are the guides:

1. Allow yourself to focus on yourself or your loved ones. Imagine what you need and what you desire in the future rather than obsess with past shared experience with your former lover. Don’t hang on to the past. Be good to yourself, no matter what life brings.

2. Keep yourself energetic and optimistic. Attitude is the thing. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

3. Let the world know you are available for dating now. ♥

4. Reevaluate your advantages. ♥ ♥

5. Pray for your wishes and work on it wholeheartedly. ♥ ♥

6. Join activities after work at the weekend. You might have a great chance to find someone who shares the same interests with you. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

7. Visit the bookstores or libraries to widen your perspectives about the world. ♥ ♥ ♥

8. Attend concerts and have fun. ♥ ♥


Is he a Mr. Right or Mr. Toxic? 


A former lover is the one who we once loved, the one we had strong attachments to and whom we depended on for a certain period of time. You have to re-evaluate the relationship from the beginning to the end. If he is your Mr. Right and you are the one who ruins the relationship, then you should work hard to earn him back. But, if he is the Mr. Wrong, you should feel much relieved to say goodbye to an unpromising love relationship. Most people ultimately realize that their love relationship or their former lover turned out to be not what they thought after they terminate the relationship. It is a commonplace thing that the truth comes to light after you walk away from a love relationship.


  “I knew that he can’t be trusted. He acts wild and irresponsible. Yet I can’t get him off of my mind and I want to be with him. I just couldn’t help myself!” What blinds you to see the truth in the dating process? It is a cruel truth that women who have the tendency to be overly faithful and consistent have a higher chance to mistake her BF for Mr. Right and waste their time upon the wrong guy. Many women make excuses for their lovers and they awake from blindness after they terminate the toxic relationship. If you are tormented for a relationship, if the relationship confused you, you have to figure out if it is essentially an abusive relationship. A good love relationship revolves around happiness and fulfilment rather than pain and suffering.



What Are the Signs of a Mr. Right?


You may look for clues from the following messages. Mr. Wrong is possessive, self-centered and capricious. He knows how to manipulate your heart with smooth tongue. He smashes things and shouts whenever he is upset. Whenever the trouble occurs he glares at you and casts blame upon you and never admits his wrongdoing. He supervises your daily routine and acts like a stalker. He checks your text messages and hacks into your voicemail. A possessive lover could be a dangerous lover. He makes you feel useless and cuts you off from your social circle. He cohabits with you, but he never shares the housework and demands sex regardless of your will. He takes full control of money and stops you from working. He sees someone behinds you. He knows exactly what to say to get you and you do exactly what he says. He messes you up. He threatens you or treats you better whenever you are tempted to give up the relationships. He expects you to be responsible for his well-being. If your partner happens to show any of the traits as aforementioned, then he is qualified to be called as a Mr. Toxic. 


  • If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul -Rabbi Harold Kushner


Margaret W. Lavigne 司馬儀

Life can be beautiful without perfection. There’s a strong link between unconditional love and posttraumatic growth. In truth, people only witness unconditional love during hard times. Unconditional love is found in imperfections. Imperfections teach us to be humble and compassionate. If you believe in miracles, be aware of the seven deadly sins and the power of tenderness. Earn approval and luck from God. According to the Bible, no one will be exempt from life challenges, including the chosen ones (1 Peter 1:3-9). God expects us to stay hopeful and “rejoice in our sufferings,” for “trials of various kinds” are training to make us “perfect and complete” (Romans 5:3-6, James 1:1-27). It’s comforting to know that “God promises to make something good out of the storm” (Roman 8: 28). We fall and we grow. There's a strong connection between unhealed trauma and dysfunctional immune system. If you rush yourself to become a better me, that might be a sign of unhealed trauma. As we learn to humble ourselves, life gets better. The connection between the brain and stomach is bidirectional. Negative emotions and chronic stress sabotage people's immune system. 70% to 80% of our immunity hinges on our gut health. Memory loss and cognitive impairment are common symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, all of which are highly connected to type 2 diabetes. Early signs of type 2 diabetes include chronic fatigue, irritability, frequent urination, vision problems and slow wound healing. Depression is prevalent in people with diabetes due to the fact that diabetes causes “structural changes in the brain.” Muscle-building helps regulate blood sugar levels. There is growing evidence that high blood sugar leads to reduced muscle mass. Beyond that, there’s a strong link between sleep deprivation and emotional weakness. People suffer from suppressed anger and pessimism. God is watching our every move. God sees through our motives. Mental health crisis is sweeping on a global scale because the core value of capitalism is incompatible with what human truly needs. Money cannot purchase inner peace. Wealth incurs fair-weather friends, frenemies and snobs. I would say, inner peace is the utmost blessing from God. Stop recording the faults of others and practice compassion mediation instead. 我喜歡文字,大概是因為我喜歡永恆的東西,而世上多數的東西都不是。潛意識24小時不睡覺,中醫主張生悶氣、恐懼、悲觀和過食是疾病的根源。 不是所有人都需要心靈雞湯,如果你絕對正向而強壯。自認不是勵志派,是寫實警世的定位,但我肯定有邏輯基礎的正向思考。很多人可能想不到很多老毛病是「肩頸僵硬」引起的,因為肩頸僵硬會「引發自律神經失調」,而自律神經失調會引發一大串的毛病,像是失眠.焦慮.消化不良和低體溫等等!久坐者即便沒有駝背也可能有「坐姿前傾」的問題。健康建議:天芢無糖抹茶+牛奶+ 無糖豆漿+鹼性飲食(可提高基礎體溫,就提高免疫力)+淋巴按摩+ 頭皮耳朵穴道按摩+甩手操或拍打功+低耗氧的運動。糖尿病可逆轉!「提高肌肉量」是控制血糖的的關鍵!國外研究證實阿茲海默症患者「全面禁糖」可望痊癒!如果遭受暴力(家暴)、性侵或性騷擾或任何身心虐待,撥打113保護專線,24小時全年無休。生活、學業、工作等等情緒困擾,撥打安心專線「1925」。佛教主張因果論,而 Bible主張人生必有難題(包括選民),主張磨練都是鍛鍊心智,但好好表現,災難的背後會有禮物(禍福相依,壞消息可能是跳板,好消息處理不當就變成頭痛點)。Bible主張人生只有一回,沒有前世今生。人生有很多上蒼的隨堂考,氣生災,如果你相信成功需要幸運,把「柔」做好,就可以賺福氣。Bible強調自律、謙卑、口舌之禍及傲慢之惡。佛教主張因果論,而 Bible主張人生必有難題(包括選民),主張磨練都是鍛鍊心智,但好好表現,災難的背後會有禮物(禍福相依,壞消息可能是跳板,好消息處理不當就變成頭痛點)。Bible強調自律、謙卑、口舌之禍及傲慢之惡。Bible主張人生只有一回,沒有前世今生。人生有很多上蒼的隨堂考,氣生災,把「柔」做好,就可以賺福氣。寫信給站長:


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