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Bullying Is Not Love|Spot Emotional Abuse & Signs of a Toxic Marriage

Wise Library 1985/ Margaret W. Lavigne

Spot Subtle Emotional Abuse: Bullying Is Not Love 

Verbal abuse causes emotional abuse for sure, which is one of the common forms of domestic violence. As to verbal bullying, it includes the usage of demeaning words, habitual criticising, name-calling, and controlling access to family and friends.  Domestic violence happens more often and universal than most people thought. ​Domestic homicide is something we have to prevent and pay attention to. Here’s another female victim of domestic homicide. 


While love is worth fighting for, some relationships may be too toxic to be saved. -Lacey Johnson

Oftentimes, the abused lose the ability to identify what is real love and fake love, especially if she is situated in a limited social family circle. All abusive relationships are toxic and dysfunctional. There’s no love but controlling and bullying. Stop let anyone abuse you in the name of love. That’s not true. Love is about supporting each other with tenderness. Be aware of the fact that verbal abuse and domestic violence are far from normal. Do not rationalize the dangerous behaviours of the abuser. 

Violence Is Crime

It’s a verified fact that intimate-partner violence generally takes place behind closed doors. Abusive relationships are very complex and nuanced because the abusers are good at earning forgiveness from the abused.  Many female victims tend to forgive what is unforgivable. There’s forgivable and unforgivable and that’s why some people will be sent to hell and take their punishment. 

The Advice to the Abused

You are kind and tender. You are compassionate and full of love. The life lesson for you is to be brave.

Dr. Phillip says she has witnessed clients allow themselves to live in toxic marriages with partners who refuse to change. She adds, “Relationships are not meant to be hurtful, frightening, or even especially hard work. And everyone deserves so much more than a life of ‘settling for it.” Everyone deserved to be treated with respect.

Women are the majority of domestic violence victims in every country. According to a 2016 report by Ontario’s chief coroner,  Among all homicides, more than 80 percent of victims were women. Couples with a history of domestic violence were around three times more likely to be killed.

Common Signs of a Toxic Marriage

  • Your partner is hypercritical after getting married.
  • You lose your confidence and inner peace in the relationship.
  • You are confused and stressful about the relationship that you consider ending it many times
  • Sometimes, you are afraid to make a conversation with your partner. 
  • You suffer more loneliness when you are in this relationship than being alone.
  • The relationship is highly argumentative, especially after getting married. 
  • You feel insecure. 
  • Your partner does not trust in your faithfulness. 
  • Your partner tends to use demeaning words in communication and conversation.
  • Your partner never apologizes.
  • Intimacy is completely missing.
  • You dare not have any deep conversation with him for the sake of conflict avoidance. That’s a sign that you are afraid of irritating your partner.
  • There’s hidden fear in the relationship. 
  • Your rights to make your day-to-day decisions are invaded and deprived by your partner.
  • You are always the one asked to make compromises. 
  • You are not respected by your partner. 
  • Your partner ignores your boundary. 
  • Your partner disempowers your individuality for being an adult.
  • You partner tend to isolate you from other family members and friends by imiting your social circle unreasonably with a double standard.

The Dangers of Ending a Toxic Abusive Marriage
Dr. Elana Fric was a well-respected family physician. Before Dr. Elana Fric served her husband with divorce papers, she had suffered years of escalating emotional and physical abuse. Divorce papers potentially trigger the most explosive moment and breakup violence in an abusive relationship. 


This murder case sparked dialogue about domestic violence. Marlene Ham, executive director of Ontario Association of Interval & Transition Houses, points out that intimate partner violence can appear in multiple forms, either in one explosive incident or a slow climb to danger.

Margaret W. Lavigne 司馬儀

Life can be beautiful without perfection. There’s a strong link between unconditional love and posttraumatic growth. In truth, people only witness unconditional love during hard times. Unconditional love is found in imperfections. Imperfections teach us to be humble and compassionate. If you believe in miracles, be aware of the seven deadly sins and the power of tenderness. Earn approval and luck from God. According to the Bible, no one will be exempt from life challenges, including the chosen ones (1 Peter 1:3-9). God expects us to stay hopeful and “rejoice in our sufferings,” for “trials of various kinds” are training to make us “perfect and complete” (Romans 5:3-6, James 1:1-27). It’s comforting to know that “God promises to make something good out of the storm” (Roman 8: 28). We fall and we grow. There's a strong connection between unhealed trauma and dysfunctional immune system. If you rush yourself to become a better me, that might be a sign of unhealed trauma. As we learn to humble ourselves, life gets better. The connection between the brain and stomach is bidirectional. Negative emotions and chronic stress sabotage people's immune system. 70% to 80% of our immunity hinges on our gut health. Memory loss and cognitive impairment are common symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, all of which are highly connected to type 2 diabetes. Early signs of type 2 diabetes include chronic fatigue, irritability, frequent urination, vision problems and slow wound healing. Depression is prevalent in people with diabetes due to the fact that diabetes causes “structural changes in the brain.” Muscle-building helps regulate blood sugar levels. There is growing evidence that high blood sugar leads to reduced muscle mass. Beyond that, there’s a strong link between sleep deprivation and emotional weakness. People suffer from suppressed anger and pessimism. God is watching our every move. God sees through our motives. Mental health crisis is sweeping on a global scale because the core value of capitalism is incompatible with what human truly needs. Money cannot purchase inner peace. Wealth incurs fair-weather friends, frenemies and snobs. I would say, inner peace is the utmost blessing from God. Stop recording the faults of others and practice compassion mediation instead. 我喜歡文字,大概是因為我喜歡永恆的東西,而世上多數的東西都不是。潛意識24小時不睡覺,中醫主張生悶氣、恐懼、悲觀和過食是疾病的根源。 不是所有人都需要心靈雞湯,如果你絕對正向而強壯。自認不是勵志派,是寫實警世的定位,但我肯定有邏輯基礎的正向思考。很多人可能想不到很多老毛病是「肩頸僵硬」引起的,因為肩頸僵硬會「引發自律神經失調」,而自律神經失調會引發一大串的毛病,像是失眠.焦慮.消化不良和低體溫等等!久坐者即便沒有駝背也可能有「坐姿前傾」的問題。健康建議:天芢無糖抹茶+牛奶+ 無糖豆漿+鹼性飲食(可提高基礎體溫,就提高免疫力)+淋巴按摩+ 頭皮耳朵穴道按摩+甩手操或拍打功+低耗氧的運動。糖尿病可逆轉!「提高肌肉量」是控制血糖的的關鍵!國外研究證實阿茲海默症患者「全面禁糖」可望痊癒!如果遭受暴力(家暴)、性侵或性騷擾或任何身心虐待,撥打113保護專線,24小時全年無休。生活、學業、工作等等情緒困擾,撥打安心專線「1925」。佛教主張因果論,而 Bible主張人生必有難題(包括選民),主張磨練都是鍛鍊心智,但好好表現,災難的背後會有禮物(禍福相依,壞消息可能是跳板,好消息處理不當就變成頭痛點)。Bible主張人生只有一回,沒有前世今生。人生有很多上蒼的隨堂考,氣生災,如果你相信成功需要幸運,把「柔」做好,就可以賺福氣。Bible強調自律、謙卑、口舌之禍及傲慢之惡。佛教主張因果論,而 Bible主張人生必有難題(包括選民),主張磨練都是鍛鍊心智,但好好表現,災難的背後會有禮物(禍福相依,壞消息可能是跳板,好消息處理不當就變成頭痛點)。Bible強調自律、謙卑、口舌之禍及傲慢之惡。Bible主張人生只有一回,沒有前世今生。人生有很多上蒼的隨堂考,氣生災,把「柔」做好,就可以賺福氣。寫信給站長:




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