兩性專欄|看到喜歡的人就緊張大腦失靈,關係無法前進….

並不是所有人和喜歡的對象相處,都會有恐懼或緊張緊繃的情緒。關鍵在於:你欣賞對方或崇拜對方,那你也欣賞自己重視自己嗎?

 

面對喜歡的人會高度緊張,對小編司馬儀而言,一來是不確定對方是否想和自己談話,二來,是怕對對方造成困擾,三,又因為太過在乎對方的觀感,而過度恐懼說錯話,所以三個情緒加在一起整個人是緊繃的….為什麼會這麼慌?當然是因為你在乎…還有,你無法得知對方的立場

 

如果對方比你更熱情更積極找話題,如果你確定對方非常想認識你或成為你的朋友,你肯定不會過度慌張焦慮,也就是,如果確定對方也是喜歡跟自己對話的前提下,心情或許能放鬆一點吧,但我們不可能永遠遇到比自己主動或熱情的人

 

如果設定「希望對方會喜歡我」的話,是被動的被宰割被挑選的,自然就會慌…..但如果換一個心態和觀念,或許他會是適合我的人或許不一定適合,可能彼此先觀察看看,不要把對方視為錯過人生世界就會崩潰的對象,而是可能交往會不錯或交往也可能不適合的對象,就可以放低得失心,這樣彼此才可以換到一個平等對話的空間!(聽說火象星座一旦喜歡了就是全盲看不到對方的缺點)

 

所以,你不需要過度在乎他怎麼看自己,而是你也成為觀察員,彼此平等,對話才會有趣有火花,才不會換到一昧的附和

 

觀察發現,當一個人確定自己喜歡的對象同樣非常非常喜歡自己,或者對自己的喜歡遠遠大過於自己對對方的喜歡,甚至喜歡你更久的時間,可能就不會是緊繃而是,很非常快樂(或享受曖昧),也就不會擔心自己說話內容是否無趣,也就不會擔心自己的主動是否是一份打擾,也就不會放大對方偶發性的已讀不會(而會解讀為對方可能剛好在忙或在睡覺或忘記帶手機等等)

 

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目錄旅遊美食兩性專欄電視劇電影影集日英語教學醫療人際關係專欄親子教育專欄

Wise Library 1985

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