WILL: I went on a date last week.
SEAN: How’d it go?
WILL: It was good.
SEAN:Going out again?
WILL: I don’t know.
SEAN: Why not?
WILL: Haven’t called her.
SEAN: Christ, you’re an amateur.
WILL: I know what I’m doing.
WILL: Yeah. Don’t worry about me, I know what I’m doing.Yeah, but this girl is like, you know, beautiful. She’ssmart. She’s funny. She’s different from most of thegirls I’ve been with.
SEAN: So, call her up, Romeo.
WILL: Why? So I can realize she’s not that smart, that she’s fuckin’ boring? Y’know–I mean…this girl is like fuckin’ perfect right now, I don’t wanna ruin that.
SEAN: Maybe you’re perfect right now. Maybe you don’t wanna ruin that. I think that’s a super philosophy, Will,that way you can go through your entire life without ever having to really know anybody….My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful idiosyncrasies. You know what? She used to fart in her sleep[…] it was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and gone like “oh was that you?” ‘d say yeah…I didn’t have the heart to tell her…Oh God…
WILL: She woke herself up?
SEAN: Ye e e e sss…. Oh Christ….aahhh, but, Will, she’s been dead two years and that’s the shit I remember.Wonderful stuff, you know, little things like that. Ah,but, those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That’s what made her my wife. Oh and she had the goods on me, too, she knew all my little peccadillos. People call these things imperfections, but they’re not, aw that’s the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let in to our weird little worlds. You’re not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn’t perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you’re perfect for each other. That’s the whole deal. That’s what intimacy is all about. Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you’re findin’ out that one is by givin’ it a shot. You certainly won’t learn from an old fucker like me. Even if I did know, I wouldn’t tell a piss ant like you.
WILL：Why not? You told me every other fuckin’ thing. Jesus Christ. Fuckin’ talk more than any shrink I ever seen in my life.
SEAN： I teach this shit, I didn’t say I know how to do it.
WILL：Yeah…….You ever think about gettin’ remarried?
SEAN：My wife’s dead.
WILL：Hence the word: remarried.
WILL：Yeah.Well, I think that’s a super philosophy, Sean. I mean that way you could actually go through the rest of your life without ever really knowing anybody.