★Psychology|Haters hate everyone including themselves….

★Psychology|Haters hate everyone including themselves….

People tend to take negative comments to heart. Haters are rampant on the internet. Everyone deals with haters, either through social media, blog posts, columns or somewhere else. [1]

Haters[2]are everywhere. Believe me. As to haters, they hate everyone, including themselves, their family and friends. Nobody can please them. Haters feel good about themselves by challenging someone with higher authority or popularity.[3]

Haters are those who take great joy in pointing out your flaws, inadequacies and imperfections by trying to make a point that “you are not better than them or anyone else ” by undermining your importance or accomplishments. What they want to tell you is that “You are not good enough.” They want to crush your confidence as others do to them.

▲Jolin Tsai (蔡依林), Sep. 15, 1980, Taiwanese singer

▲Haters hate their own lives|Haters hate you and they hate themselves even more

Show your empathy to haters. People with unhappy or miserable lives have no ability to happy for others’ happiness or success, and they are more likely to bad-mouth others with better lives. It’s probably out of jealousy or unbalanced mindset.

No doubts. They hate you and they hate themselves even more. They hate their lives. They have nothing to do with their lives so they spend their life focusing on your lives in which is more fulfilled, enjoyable and lovelier. They hate you, because your life is much more shining, compared to their uninteresting dull and empty lives.

As they focus on your life, what they do is much like a fan does to their idols. Instead of focusing on their own lives, they are interested in your lives more. They spend so much time wondering about your daily lives and they don’t even have time for their self-improvement.

At the core, haters are probably the unconscious insane fans who fail to confess or avow their admiration for you for the sake of jealousy or something. Because you are what they want to be. You have the attention or the abilities they crave for.

There is a term called “Hater-fan.” According to urban dictionary, hater-fans are  “ jealous ass people that give you shit and hate on you like crazy [….] they’re subconsciously you’re the biggest fan.” It’s super ironic that haters are those who are obsessed with what you are doing on a daily basis. They might check your articles, websites or videos more often than your mother or boyfriends.

 

★It’s not your obligation to please haters. They don’t pay you.

Firstly, it’s not your obligation to please a despicable hater or a contemptible stranger. They don’t pay you.

You shouldn’t treat everyone equally for the reason that some people deserve your attention more, such as your dear family or BFF and some don’t deserve your attention at all.

Haters are those who don’t deserve your attention and time. Time is too precious. Time is cost. Time is money. Wasting your time has no difference from wasting your life. For instance, people have to pay for counseling. Those haters don’t even pay for your article or video. They should pay for your time. Don’t ever underestimate the value of your time. Don’t respond to them unless they make a reservation and pay the deposit first. They might accuse you of being self-important or something. Remember, it’s not your obligation to deal with any strangers online, especially those who dare not show their real names.

 

▲Wen-Je Ko  (Chinese: 柯文哲, Aug. 6, 1959),  23rd Taipei  Mayor 

★Successful people have more haters….

Successful people have the attention from the world and their and every act are under great surveillance. John Brubaker argues that haters are “ an authentic reflection of our cultural norms. [….] haters are the norm.”

I would say haters are the mainstream frustrated small-minded guys who can’t accept the fact that others achieve better accomplishments than themselves. Generally, haters are terribly weak in reality but casting bold brazen comments with no names on the internet. That’s their way of spitting out their negative energy of being a loser in the eyes of the public. That could be interpreted as a way they revenge to the world.

John Brubaker asserts that “There is one way to avoid having hater [….] be average and no one will judge or hate you.In other words, when you become an average person as a nobody, you will be pretty safe and free from criticisms. People won’t talk about you. Because you don’t have anyone’s attention.

Being a spotlight in the crowds do have a price to pay for, either you are a beauty or being extraordinary in anything.

Haters are the uninvited judges who suppose they own the power to judge you or mock at your performance. That’s the point. It’s easier to criticize. For instance, it takes an effort to create an art or an article, but it’s easy to point out the imperfection of an art or an article.

Being the uninvited judges of your performance,  haters ultimately find their self-worth on earth. Otherwise, they might be troubled for being ineffective or useless in real life.

“Every top achiever has their critics […] Who do haters hate? Successful people[4] [….] There’s absolute value in having haters […] Why do haters hate? Criticism is self-hate turned outward [….] When you’re new there will be critics, when you’re good there will be haters, and when you’re excellent they will turn into admirers. [….] Howard Stern’s haters actually listen to his radio show longer than his fans do on a daily basis [….] They can doubt you […] but they never stop you.” John Brubaker, Why the Most Successful People Have the Most Haters

 

John Brubaker asserts that “[Y]ou only give them power if you listen to what they say […] use your haters as fuel for the fire. “I would say, without haters, countless praise might make people ease and loose, which might stop people from growing. Thus, haters might have positive values if you take things this way. They are like bacteria who help you to check if you are strong enough.

★Haters|Negative energies

It’s a commonplace thing that the bloggers and YouTubers check the feedbacks online. Haters are good at producing unhealthy, malicious and pernicious kinds of stuff. That’s their strength. Their minds are like huge engines motived by negative thinking. And negative thinking is contagious, which is much like virus. Haters are full of bad energies, either their minds, life-values or words. Getting close to them would only make you sick. Those illogical and unconstructive negative comments are much like junk foods. You’d better throw it away without a second thought.

In conclusion, haters are ill-natured. Their life focus is but producing offensive, rude, indecent, repellent posts. It’s a pathetic fact that they are unable to do anything else except attacking people by casting stones to people’s achievements by means of delivering indecent, vicious lines  over and over again. That’s their only talent. They are super weak indeed.

I am not asking you to turn a blind eye to those bad unfriendly comments. Try your best not to take a second more focusing on those words from the so-called haters.

Imagine those bad and mean comments as bad smells from the underpass. I hope you know how to deal with it right now.

 ★Unconstructive criticisms are  not worthy of reading

A constructive criticism[5] apparently differs from a destructive criticism. The later has something to do with backbiting, rumors, slander or anything that is unrelated to your ability, such as your age or sexual orientation.

 “To them, I was “too nice” and I “smiled too much” to be authentic and real, and apparently, my positive attitude annoyed the hell out of them […] I chose to be me, unapologetically. […]Once they realized that their snide comments and immature hating had absolutely no effect on my behavior, the haters were effectively silenced and they moved on to another target who would give them the emotional reaction they craved.” by SHOLA[6]

To sum up, you should keep doing what haters hate about you if what haters criticize about you is essentially something charming and lovely.

★Haters are vulnerable cowards who dare not show their identity.

Haters crave for attention because nobody gives them a damn in real lives.[7] Stereotypically, haters use false accounts and false profiles. They dare not show their identity by feeling shame about themselves. And they dare not take responsibility for their words. It’s possible that they aim to make a mean or crime-oriented comments from the very first place. Generally, haters dare not show their faces on the internet. They are super cowards indeed. Indisputably, they are much vulnerable and weak than you.

 ★Don’t mind annoying haters more by being the best you as before.

How to silence haters once and for all? Show haters that their words have no effect on you and you don’t mind annoying them more by being the best you as before. There’s no logic to change your behavior for a sake of an unfriendly and rude stranger.

Show them that you’re happy with who you are. And you don’t give it a damn about their personal feeling or drama. They are not even your friends Courtesy is but a fundamental expectation in interpersonal relationships. If they want to befriend with you, they have to learn to be polite and approachable first.

▲Emma Stone,   image source  by Russian Artist,  Lera Kiryakova

Use Negative Energy to Your AdvantageThank you for those unpaid critics….

Living in the real world, toxic hatred would never extinct. It’s inevitable. You are on the way of growing and it’s normal that you do have imperfections or shortcomings. Everyone does. Self-doubt is unnecessary.

If you work on your weakness, you can turn harsh critics into something beneficial. Everyone screws up in their lives at least once. In general, everyone screws up many times.

Remember, you don’t have to give people what they want. Your life is not meant to cater the social expectations, especially not for the pleasure of haters.[8]

For sure, you are able to thrive and excel under the weight of brutal hatred and harsh criticisms and keep doubling your income and targets.

It’s not your duty to please everyone and everyone can’t be pleased as well. Forsake this idea once and for all. It’s a cliché but it’s important. Kurt Cobain once said, “I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not.” It’s your life. And time flies. A decade passes away in a flash. Believe me. Focus on someone or something which worthy of your attention.   

At bottom,  haters’ responses are based on subjective irrational emotions rather than facts. Haters are those who stick with negative thinking. They write nasty posts to offend you and irritate you on purpose.

Do you take the jokes from the kids seriously? Do you get yourself annoyed for the barking dogs on the streets?

You can’t control what other people think about you. More significantly, you don’t need love or respect from those contemptible guys.

▲Cara Delevingne

★Dealing with haters, you’d better be strong and tough without losing grace and courtesy….
Haters prefer to seek low-key, vulnerable or weaker targets. Destroying people’s heart and confidence is what they desire. Haters do offer a great chance for you to check if you are strong enough. 

Tag: aggressive hater, abusive haters, hate groups, bully, jealousy

[1]Even Mother Theresa can’t be exempt from criticism against her.

[2] What’s the definition of the haters? According to the urban dictionary, haters are those who simply cannot be happy for another person’s success. Thus, haters tend to expose a flaw in someone and aim to knock him down. According to the Cambridge dictionary, a hater is someone who criticizes someone’s achievements particularly on the internet. As to Collins English Dictionary, it defines a hater as a grudging or spiteful person, esp one who disparages others. Michael Strangelove describes haters as people or groups of people who express hatred in public forums, such as YouTube and Facebook. The Oxford Dictionary tells us that a hater is “[a] negative or critical person.”

[3] Arguably, hatred may spring forth from jealousy, cognitive bias or self-importance.

[4] Tag: Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs

[5] If we’re being greatly loved by those around us, we might have no chance to hear something unpleasant from friends or family. Because they love our everything, including our defect, disadvantage and weakness. However, we might find out our weakness from haters’ post, and it might help improve ourselves further by correcting our weakest part.

[6] http://thepositivitysolution.com/silencing-the-haters/

[7] Haters live their lives with anger and pain. Thus, they want you to feel the same by throwing mean and unconstructive feedbacks or comments online by hiding behind the screen.

[8] It’s not your duty to please everyone and everyone can’t be pleased as well. Forsake this idea once and for all. It’s a cliché but it’s important. Kurt Cobain once said, “I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not.” It’s your life. And time flies. A decade passes away in a flash. Believe me. Focus on someone or something significant and meaningful.  

▲ image source  by Russian Artist,  Lera Kiryakova

司馬 儀

希望可以建立一個「一輩子所需的資料庫和知識庫」。周末照常發稿。十月份會花更多時間寫英文稿。所以發文頻率不一定。如果有希望了解的題材化或議題,歡迎留言或提問。本身屬於害怕無聊的生物,喜歡獨處,一旦喜歡任何事物,就會非常專注,喜歡剪貼報章雜誌蒐集美好。走過【澳洲打工度假】的道路,兩三年間有過十多次飛行紀錄。一度是一個很愛發表「異」見的新人撰稿人。小時候是離不開收音機的小孩,不愛偵探片。愛讀報愛剪貼,就愛戴上偵探的瞳孔探追根究。怕黑,排斥恐怖片。購物,是批發控,高度執著CP值。喜歡透過相機留下記憶點。近年才慢慢關注時事議題,2017年熱愛花圃種植,2018看過印象最深刻的是動漫【リライフ】、韓劇【迷霧】、大陸劇【北京青年】、大陸劇【新結婚時代】。個人部落格搬家至【字媒體】前累積逾六百萬的瀏覽量,2015發表的單篇熱門文章兩時間累積約一百六十萬的點閱率。遠期的心願是撥空寫完英文小說。如果你剛好喜歡我的網站或文章,希望留言告訴我你的想法,或分享文章網址給身旁的友達。擁有過很多筆名「野澤碧」等等。首本療癒系小說處女作《推理愛》由黃宥嘉醫生掛名推薦寫序。過去文章以本名或筆名陸續刊登於各平台,包括「自由時報」「東森新聞官網」「TVBS官網」「蘋果日報官網」「姊妹淘」。2017年在TVBS專欄發表過的所有文章都收錄在個人網站https://beeigood.com。TVBS專欄有人氣點閱榜第一名的紀錄,撰稿文亦榮登TVBS專欄話題熱播榜及編輯推薦的排行榜,自由時報和蘋果日報的上稿文也都名列人氣或點閱排行榜。因為上一個筆名六字個太長,新筆名是司馬儀。擁有太多筆名,是很愚蠢。我知道。但我樂意。禍福相依,危機就是轉機,每一個警訊都可以是一個提醒或一個忠告。2018的人生準則參柯文哲市長的名言「心存善念,盡力而為」。共勉之。

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